Today is the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 45th President of the United States, and people from all across the world will be watching anxiously to see how his term in office unfolds. To get some idea of what lies ahead, we decided to find out what Chinese astrology has to say on the subject. Because, you know, it can’t be less accurate than the opinion polls.
I turned to my favorite online soothsayer, Master Tsai at www.chinesefortunecalendar.com, whose guidance I have sought before. “Donald Trump has a very special birth chart,” Master Tsai tells us. “His Five Elements are extremely out of balance. The birth chart has too much Fire and Earth, with almost no Water or Metal.”
But what does this mean, Master Tsai?
“That means Donald Trump’s Wet Soil is full of energy.” Careful now. “Earth is also connected to land. In Trump’s case: real estate. Any business related to Earth will bring him money.”
Well, yes. Although not necessarily those who work for him. What else?
“Since Water is the unlucky element to him, women can bring him trouble.”
Enough of that! Moving swiftly on…
“Earth and Fire are his lucky elements. Earth is related to soil, center, or brown. Fire is related to heat, summer, south, or red. Therefore, red, ruby and brown can bring him good luck. The center and southern areas are favorable to him.”
You don’t say.
And what does 2017 have in store, Master Tsai?
“Chicken is Female Metal. Female Metal related to his children or subordinates. They will spend more time with Trump, and the people supporting Trump will expect certain achievements from him. Trump will enjoy his life.”
He’s certainly going to be spending more time with his children. Master Tsai predicts more good fortune for Trump in 2018, but by 2019, Water Pig is making the land muddy, which “indicates slow progress in money related projects.” By 2020, election year, Trump is running into difficulties: “He will have money management issues.”
In fairness to Master Tsai, most of his predictions were put on record well in advance of the election, although it wouldn’t take a mystic to foresee that the center and south would be favorable to Trump, or that “he has a good chance to become president, unless his opponent has better luck than him.”
The fact remains though that most of the experts called the election wrong, while Geda the Mystical Monkey correctly picked Trump, and even gave him a big kiss. Perhaps we really are in an age where nobody knows anything. I’m off to see what next door’s cat has to say about the Shanghai stockmarket.