What Age Should You Send Your Child to Preschool?

When you work with small children there are a few questions you get asked regularly by anxious parents: “What’s the correct balance between structured and free playtime? When should we allow screen time and how much should they get? How should I handle tantrums/boundaries/discipline/timeouts? When should we stop the pacifier/introduce new foods/start giving them chores?” Ok… there are more than a few.

But by far the most asked question I receive as an early childhood educator is “What age should we start preschool?”

Because we know how important early education is to a child’s long-term health, happiness, and achievement, there is a lot of pressure on parents to “get this right.” On more than one occasion I have had anxious, overwhelmed parents (or in some cases parents to be) sit in my office with a spreadsheet of local schools in their hands and panic in their eyes.

As much as I wish I could give these wonderful, concerned and engaged parents a simple answer, it is a complex question with many variables. Ultimately, they need to make the decision that is best for their unique child and family as a unit. But that doesn’t mean they can’t get guidance from people who have been around the track a few times.

I normally start by handing out tissues and, in truly desperate situations, chocolate, to calm nerves. Then we embark on a long conversation about the child’s learning style and interests, the family’s lifestyle, plus any health and wellness factors that might play a role.

But I can’t do all that for each of you through the pages of a magazine. So, to tackle this question I tapped some of my brilliant colleagues here in Beijing for their best advice.

Montessori consultant and author Dr. Paul Epstein, Executive Director of Kindergarten Programs for Ivy Education Group, Ryan Cardwell, and Tina Stephenson, Head of City Campus, Harrow Beijing were kind enough to share their thoughts on the subject. All are excellent educators with a wide variety of experiences, who subscribe to different but equally valid philosophies and pedagogies. Hopefully, this will give you a starting place for making the best possible choices for your unique situation.

Age is just a number and preschool is no different! So instead of using age as a hard and fast rule, are there some developmental markers that suggest a child might be ready for the social and cognitive experiences a preschool setting offers?

Stephenson: Children send a range of different signals about school readiness. However, the messages that children do send are clear if you are watching for them. The first and most obvious signal children send is how quickly and how frequently they become bored at home.

Young children have a strong drive toward messy play, because this type of multi-layered experience is great for their developing brain. If your child always seems to be making messes around the house, that is the way they are telling you that they need an environment that will allow them to engage in messy, busy, and noisy play, the exact type of multi-layered play that good quality preschools provide. They are doing similarly important cognitive work when they build piles, drop objects, climb on shelves, and pull objects from drawers, all of which can be better and more safely managed in a classroom than the home environment.

Dr. Epstein: Children who are comfortable being in the care of other adults and away from their parents (are showing signs they are ready). Children also get ready for preschool when they are involved with independent activities in their homes. And children who enjoy attending a variety of parent/child classes with other children.

On the other hand, what are some situations that suggest you should wait a little longer to enroll your child in preschool?

Stephenson: A child who cannot get at least 9 hours of sleep per night is going to have difficulty staying awake in school. Children should be able to eat solid food and be feeding themselves most of the time. Also, children should be able to use the toilet independently at least some of the time. When they can sleep well, eat independently, and understand what it feels like to need to use the toilet, then their body is ready for school.

Cardwell: In most of the cases where a child has difficulty making the transition to preschool, it is actually the parents who are not ready to part with the child. For nervous parents who have the ability to keep their child at home with them, that can be preferable. Don’t force it, enjoy your child’s early years!

We all know preschool isn’t just about the child. A family’s lifestyle, circumstances and geographic location all affect how successful a child’s first school experience is. What are some things to consider when deciding to enroll or wait?

Cardwell: Beijing has a myriad of great preschools. Parents are well-advised to choose one near to home. Consistent attendance is also important. If you plan to travel a lot with your child, you might consider delaying entry into preschool.

Dr. Epstein: A most important consideration is the readiness of parents! Are you ready for your child to enroll in a preschool? Why do you want to enroll your child?

If parents decide their family is ready for the wonderful world of preschool, how should they choose which type of program (Traditional, Montessori, Reggio Emilia, Language Immersion etc.) is best for their little one?

Stephenson: I think here in Beijing language considerations are often at the top of the list for choosing schools. As a parent you need to know the language options which are available to you and what you want for your child’s language ability. Do you want your child to speak Mandarin at home but use English for education and later on for work? Then research-based practice tells us that immersion in English in the early years has the strongest outcomes. If you want to keep your options open, then perhaps choose a dual-language school (often called bilingual) although the research on the outcomes of those environments is less strong.

Cardwell: There is no one size fits all approach to preschool, so I recommend that parents not worry about the curriculum or the pedagogical approach. This is one case in life where how you ‘feel’ about the place is very important. The only way to really learn about a school is by visiting. Make sure that the school will show you classrooms, and if possible, talk to teachers and parents.

How to Look at a Preschool

Cardwell:

How is it licensed and accredited?
Are the teachers credentialed?
What is the school’s educational philosophy?
What is the school’s approach to discipline?
How much parental involvement do you/they expect or want?
What’s the make-up of the classroom?
What is the teacher-to-child ratio?
How much free play time do the children have?

Stephenson:

Usually, the general feel of the school and the appearance of the school environments tells an observer a lot about the school. The school environment may be beautiful but are the children using the spaces?
Listen carefully to how the staff speaks about children and how they speak to the children. You can also tell a lot about a school based on how the children greet visitors and new children in a school. In schools where the children feel ownership over their space, they will notice and welcome newcomers.

Dr. Epstein:

Is it clean? Warm and inviting? Personal?
What does this school mean by learning?
How do they instruct?
Do they personalize instruction?
How do they encourage children to participate?
Do they believe rewards are necessary? Why?
How do they teach children to resolve conflict?

Once you have chosen the school that is right for your child and family, what is one thing you can do at home to help prepare your child in the week leading up to their first day of school?

Cardwell: Talk to your child about what kindergarten will be like to help them start preparing for this big transition. Talk to them about the teacher, the daily school routine, etc. Involve him or her in picking out their school materials (e.g., backpack, clothes, etc.) You can also talk about what going to kindergarten was like for you, as a way to model how your child can share feelings about kindergarten.

Dr. Epstein: Act it out! Practice getting ready to go to preschool. Find out if the preschool does a home visit – does the teacher or teachers meet your child in your home? Can you go with your child to visit the school before the first day?

Stephenson: Make sure you are feeling relaxed, positive, and confident during those first few days and your child will be much more likely to feel the same way. On the days leading up to school, set up a happy and relaxed bedtime routine. Eat breakfast, put on the school uniform, pack the school bag, and leave on time. You do not need to go to school, just go for a walk or to the mall. A few days of practicing the bedtime and morning routines can cut the stress of the first days at school and make those important first school experiences much better.

What are some other alternatives for parents who choose to delay preschool but still want to have their child participate in social/educational activities to prepare them for their eventual enrollment?

Stephenson: In the early years it is important to provide a wide range of indoor and outdoor play, messy and explorative play, talk based and physical play. The developing brain needs to do activities which are rich in movement, expression, exploration, and communication. Also, whatever activities you choose, it is most important that children enjoy their earliest education experiences. How a child feels about education is as important as the skills they learn, so whatever you choose, make sure it’s enjoyable.

Dr. Epstein: Music, dance, swim, arts-there are many of these parents can go to with their children.

I am so grateful to my fellow educators for sharing their thoughts on this subject. All this information is valid and honest, but it is by necessity general. So, my final tips for school hunting parents are these.

• Get input from the other caretakers in your child’s life. Babysitters, toddler music class instructors, swim coaches, grandparents etc. They may have insight into your child that is helpful and most importantly individualized.

• Get input from your child. If they are always talking about seeing their friends in art class, are fascinated with the calendar on the fridge, or try to participate in circle time when you drop off their older sibling, they are telling you they are ready and eager for a school experience.

• Trust your instincts. You are their parent or guardian, and mother nature equipped you with the best alarm system there is. If you walk into a school and get the warm fuzzies, it’s a good sign your child will feel good there too. If the thought of sending them to any school at all makes you a little queasy it might mean hold off for a little while longer. Ultimately Mensa will not care what age they started school, only that they were happy and successful once they arrived!

Find out more about Beijing’s top international schools at this year’s Jingkids International School Expo (JISE) on April 17.