To Board or Not To Board? Boarding School Veterans Share Insights

Boarding school has been getting a lot of buzz in recent years, meaning it’s fairly new territory for parents and students alike. Countless hours are spent filling out applications and writing letters of intent, interviewing with multiple schools, and of course, taking standardized tests. All told, it’s a process that requires a lot of time and effort, all of which essentially boils down to a single question: Is applying to these top boarding schools worth it? 

There isn’t one simple answer, as each student’s experience is different and no one will really know until they arrive in a boarding school environment. As such, in our two-part series, we spoke with two boarding school veterans who give their testimonials and insights into the boarding school journey. 

First up, we hear from Cynthia Zhang, age 16, who was boarded at Northfield Mount Hermon School during her Junior (11th grade) level.

Pro: The sky is your limit for trying new things!

With that being said, children are no longer under their parents’ supervision or micro-management several thousand miles away while at boarding school. For the most part, they are liberated from the pressures and expectations of their parents. It’s a chance to start fresh and discover what they might have been subconsciously suppressing at home and potentially uncover their true passions. That’s what I accomplished through the overwhelming support of the endless academic and extracurricular offerings at my boarding school.

I discovered my passion for jazz piano working with the jazz combo at school, I fell in love with history after completing a 20-page research paper on the Rohingyas in Myanmar, and I started to run cross-country – an opportunity I never would have had if I stayed in my previous school. It was through these life-changing experiences that I began to gain tremendous academic and personal growth, as well as developing a better understanding of my identity. With the intellectual curiosity my teachers helped instill in me, I now apply it to searching for untapped realms that I want to explore, like the intersections of music, history, and politics.

If your child has been disengaged with schoolwork and always needs a bit of extra nudging from you, while you feel utter fatigue having to take them to different places for classes five days a week, maybe boarding school will carve a path for their education by extending their learning beyond rigid classroom walls and your scrutiny that harms both your and their mental and physical health.

Con: For students, it’ll be a culture shock

Going to boarding school is different from simply placing yourself in an international school environment in China because you’ll now be experiencing cultural differences unique to the place you’re living. When I first came to the US, I had no clue what small talk was, let alone masterfully engaging in it. My previous international school never taught me how to make small-talk, largely because my friends spoke Chinese and it isn’t a custom in Chinese culture. What is the point of asking someone how their day went if, frankly, you don’t really care and both of you could use the time doing something more worthwhile? But I had to pick it up fast since I didn’t want to be regarded as the odd one who didn’t recognize “proper social cues.” 

Another cultural shock was the dreadfully inefficient delivery service. In China, I was pampered with out-of-province packages that arrived in two to three days, five days at most, and the abnormally fast SF Express. When I ordered my first package in the US, I wasn’t ready to patiently wait a week and a half. What made it more agonizing was that there was also no data available to track where my package was. The only expected arrival date was in five-day increments, compared to the half-day period predicted by Chinese shipping providers. So for my second order on Amazon, I couldn’t stand another painful ten-day wait and got an Amazon Prime subscription. I had heard complaints about the sluggish speed of shipments in America, but trust me, when you’re the consumer waiting for your order, it hits differently. 

And then there was the calling-your-teacher-by-their-first-name that’s entirely unheard of in international schools and even the majority of schools in the US. At my boarding school, students traditionally call their teachers Will, John, Chris, Meredith, and Meg. At first, it made me fairly uncomfortable to address them without the Mr. or Ms. title and last name, but after a few days, I became accustomed to it. For some, the informality might even come across as being disrespectful to authority figures, when in reality, it’s just a uniquely American value. Thus, they refuse to accept the norm and stick to tradition. One of my classmates who used to follow the British curriculum referenced our chemistry teacher as “Miss” the whole semester. He did not bother to change one bit.

These forced assimilations left me disoriented during my first few months in the US and will be excruciating for any non-native with little prior exposure to Western culture. It’s definitely a deterring factor and should be considered in your decision to send your children to boarding school or not. But, with some extra effort, your child will not only learn how to adapt to all kinds of cultural spheres but also cultivate a shrewd eye for perceiving cultural differences while interpreting and embracing all of them.

Watch out for fellow intern Emily‘s boarding school takeaways in our next article in the series!

KEEP READING: Rory Gilmore, a Cautionary Tale For “Perfect Students”

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