Our names are Emily Hellqvist and Kathy Shi, and we underwent a hair makeover in the name of journalism. While both of us have never really been to the hair salon for anything other than simple cuts, we didn’t quite know what to expect on the big day. We both went in with an idealistic view of what could come out of it but were soon faced with reality. Things never go according to plan, even if the styles that we wanted were completely different.

Emily’s Experience:

The only times I’ve ever been to the hair salon were to trim or cut my hair – never for anything else. I had always been discouraged from dyeing or curling my hair as my mom is fond of saying that, “Doing anything unnatural to your hair damages it.” Call it the prime teenage rebellious era, but when the opportunity arose for me to do whatever I wanted with my hair, I hopped on board. Hey, what excuse will work better on my tiger mom than, “It’s for work!”

I went in with reference pictures ready. Like the stylist noted, the style I wanted was very European-American, while what Kathy wanted was more Korean. I had been so nervous and excited in the week leading up to it, that when the day came, I was a little bit scared. I was right to be scared though because my emotions were about to endure a roller coaster ride.

It was my first time doing something different with my hair, so I was very new to the environment. When they pulled out the tin foil that they were going to use to bleach my hair, my internal dialogue was a mixture of confusion and horror. What were they going to do? I was like a cat seeing the outside world for the first time – I didn’t know what to feel. Then, after a lot of tin foiling and a lot of waiting, they washed my hair and I think that’s when they dyed it? I did feel some burning sensation on my scalp so that’s what I assume it was. It seemed like he had washed my hair several times but by the time he was drying my hair, I noticed something that seemed different.

The highlights that I had asked for were…not there. Instead, the bleached strands were replaced with grey locks. It wasn’t the light brown that I had asked for – unless I’ve been color blind this whole time? When I asked, the reply was a relatively simple one: “We thought this would look better on you.” At that moment, my heart did about three somersaults and wanted to jump out of my chest. Even if this altered style did look better, shouldn’t they have asked first? Maybe tell me what they were planning on doing instead of letting me find out after they had finished the job. This attitude threw me off – but maybe it’s a normal occurrence, and I was just a rookie in this whole new world.

As they dried and curled my hair, it began to take shape. The colored highlights were growing on me, but I just couldn’t quite get over the fact that they had switched the colors up without letting me know first. But, I’ve been getting compliments since so it all worked out in the end.

Kathy’s Experience:

“Unexpected” would be the perfect word to describe my experience at the hair salon during this seemingly ordinary, but entirely extraordinary Tuesday. As a girl whose long hairstyle has remained unchanged for years – until very recently, that is – going into a hair salon and asking a hairdresser to “create art” was a challenge.

So then why would I describe it as unexpected? One week before I even stepped into the salon, I was already very excited about the makeover and began looking up photos and styles to capture the “ideal me.” Initially, as a K-Pop fan, I wanted a Korean-styled girl kind of look. However, when I showed the photos to the stylist, he firmly rejected the idea and suggested that small curls would suit me better. He suggested that for a magazine shoot, we should go for something a bit more complex than what I would normally wear in daily life. So, this is what happened…

The final look was a far cry from my original plan, and I can’t say I was 100 percent satisfied with it, but this modern disco lady look was a big breakthrough from the normal me.

This was my first time having my hair styled somewhere other than the small hair salon near my home, and it left me with a good impression. I enjoyed the whole process of putting on the makeup, getting my hair done, and doing the photoshoot. It was particularly interesting to watch the transformation taking place in real time. The four hours passed very quickly, and the salon’s staff were super friendly too.

While Emily started the process of getting her hair dyed, I started with makeup. The process of putting on makeup while a photographer documented it made me feel a little like a celebrity.

The whole experience was quite enjoyable. My hairdresser was an easy-going person and very professional. I have to compliment the effort he put into turning my long and messy hair into a shorter, neater version by cutting it into several layers again and again. Unfortunately, those small curls disappeared after a single hair wash – or perhaps fortunately, since in any case, I can’t go out with the exaggerated curves in real life.

大象造型 (三里屯店)

北京市朝阳区工体北路4号院78号楼南侧首层 4 Gongti Beilu, South side of Bld 78, Chaoyang District Tel: 6592 2202

大象造型 (祥云小镇店)

北京市顺义区安泰大街3号楼南侧底商 3 Antai Dajie, Shunyi District
Tel: 8047 6166

This article appeared in the jingkids 2021 July-August issue

“Emily! Shake the bag!” I was instructed after being guided to the table, blindfolded. A huge plastic bag had been placed in my hands, and I dutifully shook it. Confused, I uttered a couple of questions: “What on earth could be so heavy? What am I going to be blind tasting?” Of course, none of these questions were answered, simply dismissed with, “You’ll find out, just be patient.” So, I sat down and waited for the game to start. I had a distinct feeling that I was not going to do well, but hey, at least I got to eat the food, right?

I must admit, I am a proud foodie who’s confident in my ability to eat, however, I had no idea how accurate my senses would be if my eyes couldn’t identify the food before it touched my tongue. I guess the texture of the seafood makes it a bit easier to identify, but I was kind of terrified that there might be something alive and capable of attacking me. It probably didn’t help that when I was exiled to the corner as the crew decided on my menu, my colleague sauntered up to me, claiming that something was, in fact, alive and moving.

Thank goodness the three seafood items on the list were very much cooked, and I got almost all of them correct. The first was a huge lobster that covered the opening of the bag. The firmness of the meat is what gave away its identity. I guess whether the lobster is the size of my hand or my face, the texture doesn’t change. Muscles and shrimp were straightforward (also perfectly cooked), and then there were the quail eggs and broccoli. My initial guess for the latter had been cauliflower but I was able to redeem myself.

When I was finally told I could take the blindfold off and finish the food, I ecstatically dug in, savoring the garlicky taste of the seafood. The sauce that came with it – dubbed Shakin – is their most famous. It’s made with a particular kind of butter, as well as garlic and Cajun seasoning so the hint of spicy plus the creamy undertone adds a complex layer of flavor when dipped in the seafood. While I was eating, from the corner of my eyes I saw my phone blowing up with notifications, however, there was no inclination to reach for it. I was too busy enjoying the food.

This sort of reaction is exactly the mission Shaking Crab is going for, reflected in their slogan “Bibs up, phones down.” They aim to make diners forget about their phones, don an apron and pair of gloves, and get lost in conversation with friends, something we don’t see often anymore. Also, for what it’s worth, I hope you aren’t tempted to check those notifications given how greasy your hands would be.

Temporarily curbing your phone addiction isn’t the only thing that’s unique to Shaking Crab. If you look at the menu, you’ll notice that the lobsters are sold individually, not by pound. This is because the restaurant believes in the trust that they build with their customers and minimizes any confusion that might arise when it comes to ambiguous pricing. Unlike most restaurants that charge fresh seafood by weight, this place removes the guesswork and tells you exactly how much each crustacean will cost.

What’s more, they strive to be as family-friendly as possible. With more than 30 Shaking Crab restaurants around the US (the first was founded in Boston, MA) and a growing international presence, they have a wealth of experience in fostering a family-friendly environment. As such, Beijing’s Shaking Crab noted that their most popular family orders include the lobster (RMB 298) and the Alaskan King Crab (RMB 398). Generally speaking, kids don’t have the patience to pick apart smaller seafood, so, in terms of crabs, the Brown Crab (RMB 398) is also a local favorite.

This was an experience I enjoyed. Even though I was robbed of my sight, I basically guessed all the food options correctly. I suppose the moral of this blind-tasting story would be that even though you can’t see the food you’re eating, your brain naturally compiles years of memories that are ready to be tapped at a moment’s notice.

Shaking Crab’s “bibs up, phones down” ethos makes it an ideal restaurant for some quality family bonding time. After all, when your hands are covered in a tasty sauce, it’s hard to want to check your phone for updates. And aside from that, the food was amazing and definitely some of the best I’ve had in Beijing!

Shaking Crab has a happy hour Monday to Thursday from 6-8pm. A few of the deals include BOGOF Goose Island beer and buy five get one free on draft beers. They’re perfect both for parents taking their children out for dinner, or colleagues who want to unwind after a long day of work.

Scan the QR code to watch Emily’s blind tasting video:

The Shaking Crab

1 Workers Stadium North Road, Chaoyang District
朝阳区工体北路1号一层
5351 5016

This article appeared in the jingkids 2021 July-August issue

Boarding school has been getting a lot of buzz in recent years, meaning it’s fairly new territory for parents and students alike. Countless hours are spent filling out applications and writing letters of intent, interviewing with multiple schools, and of course, taking standardized tests. All told, it’s a process that requires a lot of time and effort, all of which essentially boils down to a single question: Is applying to these top boarding schools worth it? 

There isn’t one simple answer, as each student’s experience is different and no one will really know until they arrive in a boarding school environment. As such, in our two-part series, we spoke with two boarding school veterans who give their testimonials and insights into the boarding school journey. 

In the second part of our Boarding School Insights series, Emily Hellqvist shares her experience repeating her Sophomore year (10th grade) with The Hotchkiss School.

Pro: Forces child to become independent

I grew up confident that I could thrive on my own. When I was a student at the International School of Beijing (ISB), I was able to handle all of my academics as well as extracurriculars plus two – and for a while three – instruments. If I could balance so much so well, I was definitely boarding school ready.

However, when I actually got into Hotchkiss and started there in the Fall of 2019, everything came crashing down. I was struggling with intense academics, juggling a social life – especially as a new student making friends – and a storm of extracurriculars and sports, all of which made it difficult to stay afloat. On top of all of that, I had to keep my dorm room clean? You’ve got to be kidding. Long story short, I was drowning. I missed my parents and I missed my cats. What was I doing at Hotchkiss?

You might be wondering why my struggles are listed under the pros section? Bottom line, it forced me to swim with the tides.

Everyone has 24 hours in a day, and there was no way I could handle everything without smart planning. So for the first time, I opened the school-issued planner and began to list out all of the work I had to do for each class, marking down the due dates and breaking projects into manageable sizes. Slowly, with the help of support systems at Hotchkiss, I started to find my footing, my homesickness began to wane, and I felt more comfortable in the boarding school environment. The reason I tell this story is because even though I thought I was independent, boarding school proved me wrong and forced me to really be independent. Boarding school isn’t about adjusting to school, it’s about adjusting and making decisions for your own life. For me, I learned more in less than a year (academically and about life) than three years at my previous school. The atmosphere is just completely different. Yes, that’s daunting, but you gain skills in high school that you would otherwise figure out much later in life.

Con: For parents, you’ll miss your children!

“How are kids growing up so fast?” is a common question that’s asked by countless parents around the world. In Beijing specifically, many kids spend their days under their parents’ hawk-like supervision, so the idea of them being 10,000 kilometers away can sound extremely daunting.

As previously mentioned, kids like me who go to boarding school will miss their parents. But, it can be even tougher on the parents than it is on the students. In the weeks leading up to my first trip to the US as a boarding student, my mother – who’s always hated cooking but makes delicious food – would ask what I wanted to eat and do whatever she could to fulfill my wishes before I left. The point here is to illustrate a parent’s often desperate feeling of wanting to spend more time with their kid or spoil them a bit more before they head off to boarding school (parents with children who’ve gone off to university probably resonate with this feeling as well).

To be sure, this reaction is a completely normal one, especially since parents also know how busy we get once the school year starts. Sometimes we really don’t have time to pick up your phone calls. Especially for a lot of Chinese parents who are used to playing the role of chauffeur, driving their kids around to different classes on the weekends, or regularly cooking their children’s favorite meal, the nest can feel empty.

Personally, I feel that this con is part and parcel of the pro. That is, I know it’s tough to let go, but if your kid is ready and willing to take the plunge, encourage them and let them make their own choices in a safe environment. Hey, it’s better than to let them make mistakes now rather than later in life when the stakes are higher, right?

Conclusion

At the end of the day, everything has its pros and cons, so it’s up to the individual family to decide whether or not boarding school is worth it. For both of us though, it was an incredible opportunity that we could not pass up. Despite the struggles, we have found ourselves loving this arduous journey that has made us better and more ambitious people.

And if you’re struggling with the boarding school scheme of things, it’s never a bad idea to try out in-person summer programs that a lot of these schools offer (post-Covid of course).

Reach out if there are any questions or thoughts you’d like to share with us!

KEEP READING: The Public’s Presumption of Private Schools

Images: Unsplash

Kaleidoscopic lights flash overhead while heavy bass vibrates through your bones and a waft of smoke invites you in. Friends are shouting to be heard over the pulsating rhythm, asking if you want a drink. One shot, then two, then maybe ten. Maybe something stronger. They pull you onto the dance floor, where you lose yourself in the music and an undulating sea of intoxicated feelings. Let’s play a game of truth or drink. Let’s spill all your secrets and get wasted…

This shouldn’t be normal, but it happens every weekend. In fact, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been invited to go out to various clubs around Sanlitun, otherwise known as the epicenter of teenage drinking and clubbing. Beijing has long been established as a city tolerant of such lifestyles regardless of age, and it’s no surprise why.

Why clubbing in Beijing is so easy, and the problems it poses

Beijing has efficient, affordable transportation that runs during just about every hour, day or night. Given that most of the clubs open at 8pm and the subways are still running, teenagers can easily get to Sanlitun for no more than a few RMB. Likewise, even though the subway lines close at 11pm, Didis are always accessible, even at 5am. As such, the transportation system that Beijing prides itself on enables teenage clubbing.

In addition to easy transportation, there’s really no culture of checking IDs when buying alcohol or going into clubs. Anyone can go into a convenience store and walk out with bottles of whiskey and vodka, no questions asked. At clubs, it’s even worse. Free alcohol in some nightclubs is a very real concept, which encourages teenagers to get drunk. There’s virtually no limit to how much you can drink, because budget no longer becomes a problem.

Here is where the dangers of peer pressure come in. “Curiosity killed the cat” is a particularly prescient adage in the club scene. When you see your friends happily playing drinking games, it’s natural to wonder if drinking alcohol will make you equally as happy. “Have a shot! Play with us! Don’t worry, you won’t get drunk!” your friends say encouragingly. So, after some hesitation, you pick up a shot glass and join the game. More often than not, however, teenagers like myself don’t know the amount of alcohol they can handle before they lose themselves, much less leaving that power to their friends. Before you know it, you’re wasted with your friends, and…

Blackouts happen. “I remember times when I would wake up the day after clubbing and not remember a single thing from the night before,” one of my peers told me when I asked about her experiences at the club. “I had to look at videos my friends took to be like ‘Oh, that happened?’” Not having control over your body and completely losing your memory because of how intoxicated you are can easily result in strangers, or even friends, taking advantage of you. Put another way, it’s extremely easy to get yourself in very dangerous situations. Worst of all, you have no power to defend yourself. It’s how my friend’s cousin got raped.

All interviewees and sources spoke on the condition of anonymity.

Teenage clubbing doesn’t just negatively impact teenagers, it also affects parents. “I’m not worried about the drinking. I’m worried about predatory behavior in bars and clubs,” said one US parent of a Beijing teenager. “Having lived here for a while and been in my share of the city’s bars and clubs, I’ve seen brawls, I’ve seen sexual assaults, I’ve seen people passing out,” he said. “While I trust my child to make the right decisions, I don’t trust the drunken behavior of a room full of strangers.”

What can we do about it?

The problems with teenage clubbing and drinking are nothing new. As long as there’s been alcohol and parties, there have been kids who want to indulge, and it will continue like this unless steps are taken to prevent it. As a Swedish citizen, I know that in Sweden, alcohol can only be bought in certain stores, with a crazy high tax. Like most countries around the world, clubs require the individual to show their ID, and measures are taken to prevent underage people from entering. Beijing should hop on this bandwagon and enforce the same rules. These changes make it more difficult for teenagers to buy alcohol anywhere, including convenience stores.

In addition to enforcing ID checks, there should be occasional random visits from the police to make sure that bar owners are following the right protocols, and only allowing those who are of age into their club. The looming sense of danger that surrounds not knowing when a check will take place acts as an effective deterrent because the teenagers know that if they are caught  – and there’ll be a very real possibility of that happening – there will be legal consequences.

And yes, in China, there are federal laws meant to protect teenagers like me from the horrors of alcohol and drugs. For instance, Article 37 of Chinese Federal Law prohibits the sale of alcohol and tobacco to minors, and Article 2 identifies those under the age of 18 as minors. Yet, most clubs do not require an ID when entering, and anyone can buy alcohol or tobacco. So, all the clubs that are allowing minors in are breaking federal law and operators can be punished under Article 33.

It’s also important to note that even though Article 2 states that those under the age of 18 are minors, when faced with criminal charges, those who have reached the age of 16 must bear full criminal responsibility and face legal consequences. Everybody I know who frequents these clubs has reached the age of 16, but are not yet legal adults. Just something to think about…

The way I see it, allowing teenage clubbing to continue is a lose-lose situation for all parties involved. Not only does it cause safety concerns for the teens, but parents also worry, and club owners are risking their businesses. The good news is, this problem is solvable and no new legislation needs to be passed. It’s already written in the federal laws, it’s just a matter of enforcing them.

KEEP READING: Can Minors Purchase Alcohol in Beijing?

Images: Pexels

If you told anyone who knew me before June of 2020 that I’ve added CrossFit to my list of hobbies, they would all give you the same answer: “Emily? Exercising? What happened?”

A little over a year ago, I had just survived the spring term of online classes (mostly in bed), and I was the laziest I had ever been in my life. It got to the point where, if my mom refused to buy iced tea at the convenience store five minutes down the street, I would decide it wasn’t worth the hassle to go myself. At the time, I was also struggling emotionally due to different stress factors in my life, so I was crying myself to sleep almost every night and hardly eating. I didn’t like the situation I was in, but because my sense of self-worth was so horrifically low, I was perfectly content with putting self-care on the back burner.

Things started to change when two of my childhood best friends said they wanted to try out CrossFit and asked if I wanted to join. The thing about CrossFit is that it targets your overall fitness, and at the time my overall fitness needed a lot of targeting. I don’t know why or how my friends and family got me to show up, but after the first workout my entire body felt like it would collapse. The workout that day involved 200-meter sprints on the manual treadmills, and by the time I had finished my butt was cramped (I didn’t even know this was possible) and I wanted to throw up. The second and third times were just as painful. That’s how out of shape I was. But slowly, to my surprise, I started going back each time feeling a little bit more motivated.

The reason for this was because I started to see results in a very short period of time. Each time I went to the gym I gave it my all. I began to see the improvements in the mirror, and I could feel myself getting stronger. The first time I succeeded at rope climbing, I could not stop talking about it for days. With practice, I went from hardly being able to squat clean with a 7kg bar to being able to do 17kg. Within two months I was up to 27kg. Best of all, the CrossFit community that I was training with began to feel like a family – full of support and encouragement, everyone was pushing each other to succeed. At the end of the workouts, when everyone gives each other a high five, I would feel proud of myself for doing my best that day. Once the CrossFit cart started rolling, it just would not stop.

Jun 30, 2021: Sit ups with a medicine ball on the GHD machine

Seeing these improvements helped my self-esteem and I began to have more faith in myself and my capabilities. Everything else followed from that – I started having more of an appetite, and I began to take control of the situations that were dragging me down. For the first time in a while I felt like I was starting to have control over my life. I began to bike (voluntarily!) to the gym at least three times a week, sometimes more. Despite my busy schedule, I resolutely made time to go to CrossFit. Before I knew it, a once proud and avid couch potato had transformed into a gymaholic!

It’s been a year since I began my CrossFit journey, and I’m writing to tell you, dear reader, that you should start too!

It doesn’t have to be CrossFit! Just start exercising, whatever it is you choose to do. I understand the temptation to stay at home and just pass your day by lounging on the couch, scrolling through Instagram (I did exactly that for a few months). But since I started going to the gym, not only have I become more fit, but my confidence has also skyrocketed and I’m also a lot more productive. I know we’re all so busy with school/work and trying to sustain a social life that going to the gym may not seem like a priority. Well, it should be. At the end of the day, to be able to succeed in whatever it is you want out of life you must be physically and mentally healthy. Exercise helps with both. Now I know that if I ever hit rock bottom again (touch wood), I can always rely on CrossFit to facilitate the recovery process.

Wall climb handstands roughly nine months apart

Search “CrossfFit” on Dianping to find some CrossFit gyms in your area! I’ve rounded up a few popular options to get you started:

Shunyi (顺义)

CrossFit 86 (It’s the one I go to!)
Location (new): Jingmi Lu, Courtyard 52, Shunyi District, Beijing

Chaoyang (朝阳)

CrossFit Slash
Location: B1/F, Hilong Petroleum Building, Courtyard 13, Gongrentiyuchang Beilu, Chaoyang District, Beijing

CrossFit ShiFu
Location: B1/F, Bldg 7, Wanda Plaza, 93 Jianguo Lu, Chaoyang District, Beijing

Haidian (海淀)

CrossFit Long
Location: 1/F, Bldg 8, 13 Huayuan Lu, Haidian District, Beijing

KEEP READING: Beyond the Hype: An Average Person’s Guide to CrossFit

Images: Emily Hellqvist

Now that I’ve officially made it through my first school year at French International School of Beijing (LFIP), as a foreigner with no real French connections, I realize that in all actuality, I do actually have connections! It’s a journey I look back at with a nostalgic smile, remembering how terrified I was walking through the gates on that first day. Then feeling proud of myself when I walked out ten months later, with a much stronger understanding of the French language and culture. Nevertheless, these ten months were filled with struggles and triumphs, late-night laughs with friends, and rant sessions that have been sworn to secrecy. This past year has been amazing, but there are five things that I wish I had known before I stepped onto LFIP’s campus.

1. The French value their time away from work

This is somewhat of a double-edged sword. On one hand, the world needs to learn from the French, that “it’s time to take some time off work!” and talk about something else. But on the other hand, for workaholics like me who have grown up hustling, when you want to reach anyone on weekends or on vacation, it’s a ghost town. It was very frustrating, but as I immersed myself more in the French environment, I began to appreciate this sort of “slow down and have a glass of wine” way of life, even if it’s something I don’t think I could adopt in the long term.

2. The French speak French…Until they don’t

I walked into the French school having finished Third Year French at my previous school, which should have equipped me with the necessary tools to understand what was going on at LFIP, right? Nope! Because French kids may speak French, but it’s not entirely French. What I mean by that is, technically they’re speaking the French language, but much like any other culture, every other word is slang. How am I supposed to understand anything if the majority of it wasn’t covered in my Third Year French class? For the first few weeks, my classmates spoke French to me at what seemed like 60 miles per hour, and I just stood there, already too lost to catch up. I did somehow get the grade to speak English to me though, but that’s a story for another time…

3. Doing things the “French Way”

Remember all those problems in math class that call for three different types of solutions, and you scratched your head in confusion? Or when you just couldn’t nail down a thesis for your history paper because there were simply too many things to write about? Well, here, at LFIP, that’s not a problem – there’s only one way. It’s the “French Way.” For math, I clung to my American and Chinese methods like they were my lifeline, and in history, I often broke free from the structures that were given. I struggled to let that go, but at this school, adapting to its methods proved to be useful – it did get me the grades.

4. School ends at 5.30pm for high schoolers

I had walked into LFIP expecting to take the bus home at 3.30pm, as I’d done during my time at International School of Beijing (ISB). Turns out, classes for high schoolers end at 5.30pm. Thus, no extracurriculars. I remember struggling to stay attentive during afternoon classes for a good portion of the year, knowing that from the minute the clock strikes 2.30pm, there would be four more hours to go. However, there was one redeeming quality: because school ends so late, there’s significantly less homework each night. Now that I’m looking back, those extra two hours a day gave me so much more time with the people I know I’ll miss terribly.

5. Some teachers will go the extra mile for their students

This saved me at LFIP, quite literally, especially during the first half of the year, when I was struggling to adjust and some teachers went out of their way to make me feel supported. I just wish I had known it all before the first day. At any rate, around mid-November, I was experimenting with scriptwriting and my English literature teacher took time out of his lunch hour, plus hours over the weekends, to help me refine my work. When I had mock trial competitions, my history teachers supported me with any resources that they had, sometimes sacrificing parts of their lunch hours and breaks to discuss with me. This level of dedication and passion really made a difference in my experience at the French school, one I’ll always be grateful for.

So, for anyone who’s planning to start at LFIP (especially those who don’t really speak French), it can be particularly daunting, however, at the end of the day the students and teachers are incredibly supportive. There will be struggles and there will be times when you just feel like staying home and skipping school, but hopefully, these five tips will help you survive and get a sneak peek into the school life of LFIP students.

KEEP READING: I Hate to Admit It, But My Mom Was Right About the French School

Images: Emily Hellqvist

One thing I have never (and will never) like doing is admitting my mother was right. But I feel like this time, I have to. Despite how confidently I told my parents I wouldn’t be happy here, and how adamant I was about never making friends. Well, it turns out I was sorely mistaken on both counts. Yes, mom, you can say I told you so…

Looking back at my experiences here, if there was one thing that kickstarted my growth at the French International School of Beijing (LFIP), it would be “French” math. Weird? Yeah, but hear me out: I sat in the front row of math class and watched in confusion as concepts I thought I knew were explained away by completely different methods. Simply put, it made absolutely no sense.

Why do we use vectors to solve everything? Were all the steps taken to get to the solution even necessary? But there are faster ways to do these problems! It was this rigidness and inflexibility that slowed me down in the beginning. I was flying through the pure calculation problems with ease and failing miserably at the ones laced with complicated French vocabulary. What was the difference between “sens” and “direction”?

Nevertheless, it was this stark difference in math notations and expression that forced me to take my first steps towards integrating into French culture.

So, the first thing I had to learn was how to hold my tongue. You’d think that for someone with such a diverse background, adapting would be easy. But it wasn’t. As the English-speaking girl who understood roughly 50% of the French being spoken around her, the American in me still wanted to offer my opinions and start a discussion in lecture-based classes. Instead, however, I had to swallow my words every time an opinion began to rear its head. Thankfully, I had a history-geography teacher who selflessly took the time to engage in probing after-class discussions using a mix of French and English. Satiating my need for intellectually stimulating conversation, we would speak at length about history, philosophy, and current events. In fact, one time we got so sucked into a riveting conversation about Europe’s refugee crisis that it bled halfway into the lunch period. Each discussion pushed me to think in unique ways, and I eagerly awaited the next one.

Luckily for me, my English Literature classes echoed the familiar Harkness method that I was used to in the States, and here’s where I think all of the students found their voices. By having profound discussions about life through personal experiences and stories, we were able to better understand the nuances of each masterpiece. As a result, I realized that at LFIP, my peers come from such different backgrounds that everyone has a unique story to share. Through them, I’ve learned to appreciate their struggles and triumphs, and I have found myself taking a step back and becoming a better listener.

Had I never learned the art of “expecting the unexpected,” I would’ve resigned myself to never making friends, many of whom I’ve needed more than ever over the past few months. Frankly, I’d be lying if I said I could make it through the year without them, and without their singular ability to make me laugh in a way I haven’t experienced since I was a little kid. Surprisingly enough, most of the people I’ve been laughing with are the same guys that tower over me at an average height of 6 feet tall. Intimidating and fiercely protective, underneath their tough exteriors, they were actually all just big teddy bears with hearts of gold. Always there to help and make me laugh, always there with a constant supply of food, without their unconditional support I would probably be in a very different state of mind right now. These giants have really fulfilled my mantra: They never left my side when I needed them the most, they loved me like they had known me all their lives, and above all, they fed me like I was Garfield. They’re my people.

As I’m sitting here writing this article, I’ve realized just how much I’ve grown at LFIP. Even though I was sent here to improve my French, it seemed like everyone’s English had improved instead. Regardless, sitting through hours of French each day, my level of comprehension grew exponentially, and with the encouragement of my peers and teachers, I have become a bit more confident using the language to express myself. I think, no matter who it is that I’ve gotten to know here – whether it be teachers or students – they have made me see the world a little differently. At the end of the day, no matter how much I struggled in my first few months at LFIP, I wouldn’t change my new friendships for anything. I’m looking forward to seeing what the remaining three months will hold for me.

KEEP READING: What Am I Doing in a French School?

Images: Courtesy of Emily Hellqvist

The first time my mother brought up the idea of going to French International School of Beijing (LFIP), I found the joke absolutely hilarious. But when I saw her dead serious expression, I choked back the last of my laughter and looked at my mom the way someone would look at a madman. She was serious. That’s when I decided, my mother had really lost her mind this time.

I mean, think about it. I am a Swedish Chinese biracial girl with no ties whatsoever to France besides my love for French cuisine. I went to a Chinese preschool, that made sense. I went to the Swedish school for a year, that also made sense. Then I went to International School of Beijing (ISB) for eight and a half years, which also made sense given that after middle school I decided to go to the US for boarding school. But the French school…

Regardless of my reactions, my mom pitched the idea with vigor through the lens of French improvement, but that just made me more cautious about the idea. It meant most of my classes would be in French, and my grades would probably take a huge hit. I questioned if my ego could take it. After weeks of persuasion, my mom got me on board with this idea, begrudgingly. I was just staying for one year.

Sep 7, the first day of school came way too quickly. I remember standing outside of the schoolyard with my parents, annoyed and anxious. They were chuckling like it was the best day of their lives, and I firmly told them that I wouldn’t make any friends and that I would be absolutely miserable. In the courtyard, I stood alone to the side, listening to my music like the antisocial kid did in the movies, and I prayed for the world to disappear. That prayer didn’t work out because three girls who had previously been chatting away in rapid French approached me and introduced themselves. Oh crap…well, they seemed nice enough, they just spoke way too quickly. I think they asked me what my name was, but before I could even process half of their sentence, they were done speaking. I opened my mouth to respond but closed it again. I just couldn’t keep up. At that moment, I questioned if the language I had previously learned for four hours a week really was French or if I had been learning a whole different language altogether, but I just didn’t know about it. I never felt more out of place, and naturally, felt too awkward and embarrassed to actually pursue those friendships because of my French deficiencies.

In French classes, I was the mute who would never say a word. In Chinese classes, I felt more at ease, and in English classes, I was the gregarious girl who just wouldn’t keep her mouth shut. Always in an American system, the lecture-based classes just seemed mundane to me, and it became way too much French to actually listen to. But gradually, I began to understand more of the French that was being spoken around me, and I even began adjusting to the speed. But I’d be lying if I said that my struggles ended there.

French people took their vacations very seriously and having grown up with a more subdued version of the Chinese Tiger Mom, I was used to the fast-paced life that accompanied me since I was in first grade. So, when the time came to work in groups, I found myself frustrated that my often-unrealistic expectations weren’t being met. In my mind, work came first, and then you enjoy the time you have left, and vacation was no exception. But that wasn’t the case with my peers when I found myself being met with walls of dead silence to any subject work-related. There were multiple times where I felt like my head was going to explode, but there was just nothing I could do about it.

Something else that I found very awkward at first was the “bise” French people do as greetings. When it first happened to me at LFIP, I genuinely thought they were coming in for a hug, so I gladly embraced it, only to be met with cheek kisses. Remembering in vivid detail that I flinched when it happened, I refuse to ask them now if my flinching had offended them in any way. Especially since we’re friends now. I guess I’ll settle with never finding out.

That first month when I went home every day, I was in a state of desperation, scrolling through my camera roll reminiscing about my time at my boarding school in the US. But I didn’t know that like my mom had predicted, with some work I would thrive in the French environment.

KEEP READING: “That’s Not Jianbing, It’s a Galette!” French and Chinese Cuisine in Solidarité

Images: Pexels