The further along you get in your pregnancy, the more difficult of a time you’ll have getting around the city. At 38 weeks, getting in and out of cars, putting on the seatbelt (because I can no longer see where I’m desperately trying to stick the buckle), the thought of swerving in and out of traffic, and those dreaded speed bumps and potholes makes me think twice before planning a trip anywhere around town.

But social outings aside, the closer you get to your delivery date, the more often you need to visit the hospital for checkups – and those trips are unavoidable…

Recently Oasis international Hospital partnered with ShouYue Chauffeur Service, a car service app that’s got specific types of cars for various needs, to introduce their fleet of Mommy Cars (宝马 bǎomǎ).

Click on the image above to see Mommy Car in action

I called ShouYue’s customer service for a bit more insight into what this new service offers. First, they wanted to ensure that their fleet of Mommy Cars is sanitized multiple times a day. For extra comfort, the cars come with back support pillows, pregnancy seat belts that don’t cut across your belly, and water for the road. For those who can read Chinese, the cars also come with baby-related literature if you want to squeeze in a bit of light reading, assuming you’re one of the lucky ones who don’t feel nauseous in cars.

The Mommy Car drivers know to drive slower and keep the urge for road rage in check, giving moms-to-be a more relaxing car ride experience. The representative from ShouYue wanted to stress that while their fleet of Mommy Cars is created for moms-to-be, they should not be used in case of emergencies like in the case you’re suddenly in labor or if your water breaks. It’s recommended that you reserve your Mommy Car at least an hour in advance as there are not as many Mommy Cars as regular ones.

Mommy Cars can take you anywhere you want in the city

As Dr. Liyun Qian, Gynecologist and Obstetrician at Oasis International Hospital explains, there are things to be more aware of when riding in cars, especially if you’re in the later stage of your pregnancy.

What Should Moms-To-Be Be Mindful of in Cars?

• Try to avoid cars with odors. While this might be a no-brainer because come on, no one likes a stinky car anyway… that fresh new car smell that many of us love also counts as odor too.
• Cars should be free of perfumes and air fresheners as pregnant women (especially those in their first trimester) are more sensitive to smells and may cause nausea and/or vomiting.
• It’s recommended that pregnant women sit in the back seat of the right side of the car since that’s where you’ll get maximum legroom.
• To prevent back pain, leave a small back pillow in the car to give your back some much needed extra support.
• Always buckle up, no matter how short of a distance you’re traveling. If you’re in a car that doesn’t have a pregnancy seatbelt, be sure that you’re buckling the seatbelt above and below your baby bump and not across it.
• Don’t rush to get anywhere. Stay around 60km/hr and avoid speed bumps and potholes as much as possible.
• Keep the road rage in check! So many of Beijing’s drivers swerve between lanes to get to their destination just a few seconds sooner. Take it easy when you’re pregnant. Not only will you feel less stressed, but you’ll also decrease the chances of minor accidents on the road.
• Check behind you before you open the door. Even after you’ve stopped, you never know when a bike will be zipping past you. It’s best to get into a habit of checking first before opening your door.

KEEP READING: Maternity Rights. The Laws and Regulations That You Might Not Have Heard Of

Images: Mina Yan, Oasis International Hospital, Unsplash

Living in Beijing while in a mixed cultural relationship has its challenges at times. What might be completely normal to your partner can be odd and strange to you. In the past few months, I’ve come across a whole different set of cultural difference that has driven me to the brink of insanity at times – the “aunties”.

First off, let me explain what an “auntie” is. Ayi isn’t just a word you call your housekeeper. It’s basically a generic term for an older woman and it means auntie. You don’t need to be related to them to call them aunties. Basically, any older Chinese woman is an auntie and for some reason, many of them will feel entitled to dish out life advice and criticism like it’s their full-time job, especially when it comes to your pregnancy and how you plan on raising your baby.

I’m Chinese-American and critical aunties aren’t even a new concept to me. I’ve just never experienced it to this extent until recently.

When it comes to pregnancy, there are a ton of local customs that the older generation accepted as norms and some will insist that they get passed down. Never mind that the last time they were pregnant was over 40 years ago and maybe, just maybe, things have changed a tad bit since then.

When I first started getting unsolicited auntie advice I’d still take the time to explain why I’d be doing things differently. But after eight months, I’ve resorted to just nodding along. In one ear and out the other as they say.

The Yuezi and Yuesao

Yuezi (月子) is the Chinese tradition of ‘sitting the month’. While medical professionals around the world all recommend new moms to take it easy right after giving birth, the old traditions include not brushing your teeth for a month, not showering or washing your hair for a month, not eating anything that’s heavily seasoned, not going outside the entire time, and following a very specific menu that’s supposed to help you recover.

A yuesao (月嫂) is a nanny whose sole purpose is to help take care of the new mom and baby during the first month. I’m not sure if this speaks to the impression of my capability as a soon-to-be mom, but when I’d tell any auntie that I had no intention of hiring a yuesao I would be met with shock and disbelief. “You can’t do it on your own” they’d tell me. Um, sorry, but yuesao is a concept that’s only become mainstream in China in recent decades. In the past, new couples would ask for the assistance of parents or (shocking…) take care of their own babies themselves. Women around the world have been taking care of their own babies for generations. Why is it that all of a sudden babies born in Beijing need their own full-time nanny to survive the first month?

Shaving It All off (Eyebrows Included)

Now that I’m getting closer to my due date, the really strange advice is coming in. One auntie was insistent that I shave my daughter’s head and eyebrows so that they grow back thicker and fuller. There’s not a single person in either mine or my husband’s side of the family who’ve got thick hair. Where do I even begin explaining the science behind inherited genetic traits to an 80-something-year-old?

It’s a Girl? Try Again

This one bothered me the most. We, as women, have not been fighting for equal rights just so that our daughters can be considered a consolation prize even before birth. The old Chinese generation tends to prefer boys. The most irritating comments from aunties (and old uncles) are having them tell me “it’s ok, girls are good too” or “it’s ok, you’re still young. You can try again, and maybe next time it’ll be a boy.”

Some older people still hold on to the idea that boys bring pride to the family because boys can pass down the family name. This gender bias isn’t just outdated, it’s dangerous. In China, this gender bias from the previous generations has led to an unbalanced sex ratio of birth and a shortage of women.

Pointy Belly Means Boy

I’ve completely given up arguing with aunties about this. Each pregnancy is different and each woman carries their baby differently. My baby bump is gigantic and “pointy” which, according to locals means that it must be a boy. Nevermind that we’ve already been told that we’re having a daughter by the ultrasound technician… I used to correct aunties when they tell me it’s a boy, but after I was met with upset looks and comments like “doctors don’t always know”, I’ve completely given up. Boy? Girl? I don’t care anymore, predict what you want…

Dirty Diapers Are the Wife’s Job

To be fair, this one hasn’t happened too often, but I have been told by more than one auntie that when the baby’s born I’m going to be super busy because it’s the mom’s job to take care of the baby. Husbands shouldn’t have to help. The first time an auntie had the audacity to say this to me, before I could gather together my limited Chinese vocabulary to argue, my husband stepped in and told her that in today’s Chinese society marriages no longer work like that and he’s looking forward to taking care of his daughter and his wife. I knew I married a good one…

Nice Tits

The last time my boobs got so much unwanted attention was probably in college during spring break in the Canary Islands on a nude beach… but now instead of drunk college boys, it’s old Beijing aunties and their super awkward “nice big boobs. You’ll make a lot of milk” comments. Thanks, glad I can check “verbally violated and made to feel like a cow by a stranger” off my bucket list…

KEEP READING: From Here to Maternity: Moms in Mixed-Culture Marriages Talk About Birth and Beyond

Images: Unsplash

Yes! I have two girls and I could not be prouder. And no, I will not be trying again until I have a boy. Get over it!

Gender Expectations:

When it comes to people’s expectations, there’s no limit to what they will want, expect, or outright demand from you. Rating highly on that demand list – high up there with expecting you to be married by a certain age – is the topic of procreation.

Before you have a child, people will enquire when you are having a baby – any gender baby – as long as it’s a baby.

Once you score on that, they expect a second baby pronto (preferably – for them – a gender different from the one you have already).

When you do have a second or third child and they are all the same gender, the endless questions and pitying remarks begin.

I have six sisters, most of whom have at least two daughters. My husband has one sister, who has two daughters herself. Needless to say, we have a very good relationship with estrogen and my husband has always wanted two daughters.

Crack the shell of gender and it’s all a delicate construct anyway.

Daughter number one arrived nine years ago and we were delighted. For our second pregnancy, I remember going to Beijing United Family Hospital for our scan. We’d been told that finding out the sex of a baby before birth in China was not allowed. During a casual conversation, the good doctor asked us (looking more to my husband) what we hoped for this time. Knowing we already had a girl, she expected my husband to say, “We’d like a boy this time,” so was shocked when he said, “I hope it’s another girl”.

A few weeks later back in Europe, we found out we were having another girl, much to the delight of hubby, our big girl, and naturally me.

Then came the comments…

Here are the “best” ones I have been asked so far:

• Poor husband, he’s outnumbered. He must be disappointed (Yes, he is outnumbered and no, he’s not disappointed, he loves it).
• Surely you are going to try again and hopefully, it will be a boy (Ehm, no thanks).
• Were you trying for a boy this time ’round? (Not that it’s your business but no, we were just trying for a child).
• Are you sad that you don’t have a son? (No, I am not)
• You know girls get married and have kids with different last names (A name can be hyphenated. It’s just a name. Doesn’t change her DNA).
• Your poor husband won’t get to play football or do “boy” things with a son. (My husband hates football with a passion. He enjoys playing tennis and cycling with our daughters and they are talking about going fishing. Pretty cool things both boys and girls can enjoy).

I know why some of these questions are asked. Many cultures view having sons as the be-all and end-all. Sons “carry” the family name further. But to me, it’s all staggeringly misogynistic.

I know that for many parents, it is an unquenchable longing they can’t help but feel. I have a friend who has five wonderful sons but is so desperate for a daughter. She loves her boys unconditionally of course, but there’s that gap she wants to be filled with pink booties and hair bows.

Other women go so far as gender selecting the babies through IVF (Yes, I am judging you! That is a bit vain). You would think that the priority would be a healthy baby first. After all, there are millions of couples who are sadly struggling to have even one child.

I, for sure, am not sitting around crying that I can’t buy boy stuff. Granted, I once had a quick dash of imagination about raising a boy: his voice breaking, his beard growing, him bringing a girl (or boy) home… but I have many nephews that I love with all my heart. To me, they are my boys.

My womb is done and dusted with “nine-month tenants” and I am not reincarnating myself so that I can experience a gender combo family. I am so thankful for my girls. They are evidence of a higher power that decides natural gender selection, so they are perfect for me!

What’s between their legs is irrelevant!

** This also happens to boys-only mothers.

Pearl Kasujja-Van de Velde is a dual Ugandan/Belgian national, a mother to two amazing girls, a wife, and a storyteller. To get in touch, visit her website at www.pearlkasujja.com.

KEEP READING: Navigating Friendships Between Parents and Non-Parents

Photos: pexels

If you’re pregnant and working in China, don’t ever just assume that you’re subject to the same rights as back in your own country, regardless of whether you work for a local Chinese company or an international one. For most of us when we start a new job and HR hands over a copy of the company policy handbook, we just sign it without giving it a second thought. But recently, my HR Director gave me the whole run-down on pre- and postnatal rights in China, and to my surprise, there were quite a few terms and rules that I’ve never even heard of, but am definitely glad she brought them to my attention.

China has pretty strict regulations for employers when it comes to the health and benefits of pregnant employees. Women – both foreign and local – are protected under Order No. 619 of the State Council of the People’s Republic of China, known as the “Special Provision on Labor Protection for Female Employee”. These are a set of regulations adopted at the 200th executive meeting of the State Council back in 2012.

This set of regulations help ensure that expecting mothers receive adequate care and support from their companies, both before and after the birth of their new baby. But first things first, before you start planning your maternity leave and mentally designing your nursery, you need to provide your HR department with a medical report from your initial checkup that proves you’re indeed pregnant.

Maternity Leave:

One of the first things that my HR and I discussed when I informed the company of my pregnancy was my maternity leave. In China, female employees are entitled to 98 days of paid maternity leave for the moms with one bun in the oven. For those pregnant with twins or more, each baby gets mom an additional 15 days of maternity leave. And for the moms working in Beijing, you get an additional 30 days of maternity leave. Just to be clear, these maternity days include weekends and public holidays but they’re completely different from your annual leave days and it’s absoutely illegal for HR to try to tell you that you can’t take annual leave because you’ve already taken your maternity leave.

In the case of a miscarriage, the company is also obligated to provide paid leave. If the miscarriage took place within the first four months of the pregnancy, you’re entitled to 15 days of paid leave. If it took place after four months you’ll be entitled 42 days of paid leave.

Working Hours and Breastfeeding Leave:

To protect the physical and mental health of mom and baby, scheduling night shifts and extending working hours for women seven months pregnant and above is strictly prohibited in China. It is also illegal for a company to deny requests by expectant mothers needing to schedule prenatal visits during working hours.  If your work includes tasks that are deemed unsuitable for pregnant women, your company will be responsible for reducing the amount of labor or arranging other suitable tasks for you. Don’t ever assume that you don’t have a choice because China takes the health and safety of babies very seriously.

Even after your new bundle of joy is born, your employer will not be allowed to request overtime or arrange night shifts for you before your baby turns one year old.

I’d never heard of breastfeeding leave until very recently. After your baby is born (and you’ve returned to work) your employer needs to allocate one hour of your workday for breastfeeding time before your baby turns a year old. For moms with multiple babies, your employer will need to arrange an additional hour for each baby. Despite the name, this doesn’t mean you need to have someone bring your baby to the workplace or run home to breastfeed. It simply means that you get an hour out of your workday to pump. And if you’re working in an environment where there’s a large number of female employees, it’s the employer’s duty to arrange for a safe, clean environment for moms to pump in peace.

This is also where a second look at your employee handbook might come in handy. Although the official government regulation is to require that the employer gives new moms an hour out of their workday to pump, many companies offer new moms the option to either arrive an hour later or leave an hour early to breastfeed at home.

Salary:

Let’s cut to the chase. It’s illegal for an employer to fire you due to pregnancy. It’s illegal for them to lower your wage, lay off, or terminate employment contracts due to pregnancy, childbirth, or breastfeeding. It’s also illegal for your employer to deny you pay or suggest that you work while you’re on your maternity leave.

Reimbursements:

Having a baby isn’t cheap and if you’re planning on doing your prenatal check-ups and delivery at a public hospital, your medical expenses will be reimbursed if your company has purchased social insurance for you. The medical fees covered include costs you will have spent for mandatory prenatal checkups, delivery, and abortions. If you’re choosing to do your check-ups and delivery at a private hospital, then you’re on your own for medical expenses.

KEEP READING: What You Should Know About Your Legal Rights Before Your Maternity Leave

Photos: Unsplash

Owen Douglas Lilian Wade

French/British. Born on Apr 13 to Segolene Ekoto and Ian Wade at Oasis International Hospital

Enyu Wang

Chinese. Born on May 15 to Shang Yanyu and Wang Zan at Beijing Ditan Hospital

Frankie Adeline Cochran-Tucker

American. Born on Mar 23 to Elizabeth Tucker and Kelli Cochran at Spectrum Butterworth Hospital

Muhammad Zaviyar Ali

Pakistani. Born on Mar 29 to Tanzeel Huma and Muhammad Ashraf Ali at Hongxing Hospital

Eva Lee Heidemann

South African. Born May 17 to Jamie Bassett and Roland Heidemann at Oasis International Hospital

KEEP READING: Want to Share Your Baby Announcement?

Photos: courtesy of parents

This article appeared in the beijingkids 2020 June issue

With all that’s happening in the world at the moment, one might say this isn’t the best time to welcome an adorable bundle of joy into the world. COVID-19 alone, though now under control in China, brought great uncertainty especially among the expat community as it saw the closure of numerous schools and other businesses that mainly employ international staff. If you follow conversations in various expat WeChat groups, you might sense an acute sense of fear, as those still within China do not wish to rock the boat as far as their jobs are concerned.

Expectant expatriates are especially anxious now, as horror stories of pregnant foreigners being dismissed or being refused paid maternity leave make their rounds on WeChat. Obviously, we cannot verify any of these claims nor disqualify them as mere exaggerations of urban folklore. We can, however, provide accurate information about what to expect, legally, when expecting in China. Forget about claims of Chinese mothers receiving longer maternity leave, followed by expat women married to Chinese nationals and regular expat women coming in last. One protection for expectant mothers, I personally found to be quite interesting is, you aren’t allowed to divorce a pregnant woman until the child she is expecting is at least six months old. We spoke to Attorney Steve Li about the legal rights expectant mothers have in the workplace and beyond, in China.

“Expectant expatriates are especially anxious now, as horror stories of pregnant foreigners being dismissed or being refused paid maternity leave make their rounds on WeChat.”

One question is, under Chinese law, is there a fundamental difference in protections offered to foreign versus Chinese mothers at the workplace? The simple answer is no. But it is slightly more complicated than that. According to Li, We need to consider the local rules regarding how many days are provided for maternity leave. The national Special Rules on the Labor Protection of Female Employees provides at least 98 days with an additional 15 days of maternity leave to be granted for difficult labor. In the case of multiple births, an additional 15 days of maternity leave shall be granted for each additional birth.

In practice, most provinces in China provide for no less than 128 days for maternity leave based on their local rules which grant a 30-day period of extra leave.  This 30-day extra leave was initially called “late childbirth leave Wǎnyù (晚育假), as a measurement for awarding late childbirth as part of the family planning policy. However, after 2016, the practice of awarding late childbirth was replaced by awarding maternity leave in compliance with laws. It now has many names as per different local rules, for example, in Beijing, it’s called “awarded vacation Jiǎnglì xiū (奖励休)” under article 18 of the Regulations of Beijing Municipality on Population and Family Planning  (Revised in 2016) and called  “parental leaveChǎnjià  (产假)” under article 18 of the Regulations of Shanghai Municipality on Population and Family Planning (Revised in 2016).  Below is a breakdown of days provided for under local laws in other cities in China.  There is no difference between foreign employees and Chinese employees or gray areas.

A feature of Chinese life that Foreigners quickly have to get accustomed to is the never-ending and increasingly complicated bureaucracy surrounding even the most mundane of tasks or routine procedures. Some might believe filing for your maternity leave would be no exception. So, is it truly as complicated as we might fear?  According to Li, there is no specific requirement for applying for maternity leave. An employer might require some sort of proof of the pregnancy (if you are one of the rare few that don’t show throughout their pregnancy) as per the company rules. You may start to use your maternity leave up to 15 days prior to your scheduled ‘confinement’ date as per article 7 of the Special Provisions on Labor Protection of Female Employees. Employers are also obliged to pay expectant mothers who aren’t covered by maternity insurance their full salary while on maternity leave.

“According to Li, there is no specific requirement for applying for maternity leave.”

But what of rogue employers who not only refuse to grant maternity leave but also dock or entirely withhold their employees’ wages when they do go on maternity leave?  Well, according to article 13 of the Special Provisions on Labor Protection of Female Employees, the local labor bureau may issue an order for ‘rectification’ within a given period of time, and impose fines based on this standard of more than RMB 1,000 but less than RMB 5,000 for each employee adversely affected. Also, if an employer infringes on the legitimate rights and interests of female employees and therefore causing a loss, the employer shall be obliged to pay compensation. If the act of the employer, the managing personnel directly in charge and other directly responsible personnel, therefore, constitute a crime, investigations shall be conducted for criminal liability. All this to simply mean, an employer denying you maternity leave provided under the law, and causing you to lose money as a result, or forces you to return to work earlier than provided for under the law, is committing a crime, and is opening themselves to investigations by the labor bureau. And these investigations might lead to them having to pay you compensation if found to be guilty of a crime.

Lastly and most importantly, your employer has no right to fire you because you are pregnant or breastfeeding.  This is according to article 5 of the Special Provisions on Labor Protection of Female Employees, article  29 on China Labor Law, and article 42 on  China Labor Contract laws which state, employers shall not lower the salary, dismiss or terminate the labor contract or employment contract with female employees for the reasons of pregnancy, giving birth or lactation. If you are fired, for this reason, you well within your right to file for wrongful termination and ask for double the severance pay.

It might seem like a lot to process, but the long and short of it is, as a pregnant woman in China, you are well protected under the law. And with all the uncertainty in the world at the moment, that is one surety worth its weight in gold.

Practice: International
Trade, Maritime Affairs,
Litigation and Arbitration,
Real Estate, FDI, etc.

 15201876913 Email:steve.li@sinoparlaw.com

KEEP READING: Pregnancy Diary: Why Gender Reveal Parties Aren’t a Thing in China

Data source: www.nslawyer.com

Photos: Unsplash, nslawyer.com. 

Before getting pregnant I always imagined my pregnancy as being a picture-perfect. A cute little baby bump, summer dresses, pregnancy glow, you know… the whole works. Swollen hands and ankles, a tremendous amount of back pain, sleepless nights, nausea, exhaustion, and all the stuff that you only think of to Google once you’re experiencing it were never part of my fantasy. In short, pregnancy is always easy.

Carrying around your little bundle of joy for nine months takes a toll on a woman’s body and it doesn’t stop there. After the baby is born you’ve still got to deal with all the fun postpartum stuff: there’s the pregnancy weight you may want to shed, complications with breastfeeding, hair loss, waiting for you vajayjay to recover, and praying that the stitches you got don’t hurt when you go potty.

Now I don’t know where the tradition of giving a ‘push present’ came from, or who came up with the cute name, but it’s a custom that needs to catch on here, so ladies, spread the word.

Bun in the oven!

What is a ‘push present’?

‘A push present’ is a present that’s typically given to the new mom by her partner after the baby has been delivered. They are gaining popularity in the west, and are kind of like a “thank you for all that you’ve put yourself through” gift. According to Linda Murray, executive editor of BabyCenter.com, “It’s more and more an expectation of moms these days that they deserve something for bearing the burden for nine months, getting sick, ruining their body. The guilt really gets piled on.”

Celebrities on Instagram have been flaunting their over-the-top push presents for years, with Kylie Jenner receiving a black Ferrari and Beyonce scoring a USE 35K 8-10 carat blue diamond ring from Jay-Z. For us mere mortals, push presents aren’t anywhere as elaborate or pricy. At the end of the day, it’s not about how much the gift costs, it’s about what it represents, and a push present represents your partner’s humble appreciation.

So are these gifts just for moms who have pushed babies out?

Not at all! As one Beijing mom puts it “they’re for all moms, whether you drop ‘em, or pop ‘em” while another new mom in Beijing joked that her partner called it her ‘slice present’ because their baby was delivered via C-section. Some moms will love a new pair of diamond earrings or necklaces, but for others like myself, who has never been big on jewelry, something more practical will go a lot further than something that’s purely for the bling. Like with everything, it all depends on your individual relationship and lifestyle.

Just remember, while something cute for your new baby is a great present and new moms will be sure to love it, a ‘push present’ is all about celebrating your partner, a gift that’s meant for your them and not the baby.

Yeah, as if it pregnancy was all this relaxing…

Push Present ideas for every budget available on Taobao (mostly)

The Affordable

At-home beauty appointments:
If we were back in the US this would fall under a much pricier category. But one of the perks of living in Beijing is that finding a masseuse or manicurist to go to your house is fast and cheap.

Journal or scrapbook:
Keep a record of every stage of your new baby’s life for the moms who love to scrapbook.

The Mid-Range

Jewelry:
This can go in basically any category, but there are companies that make semi-DIY jewelry that’ll encase droplets of your breastmilk and your baby’s first locks of hair into pearl shaped designed for you to keep forever.

How to turn breast milk into jewelry

Instant photo printer:
For the parents who love to scrapbook having an instant photo printer at home can come in handy. It’ll be a lot more convenient than running down to your local print shop, but keep in mind that while the printers are relatively inexpensive, the paper and ink can be pricy.

The Pricy

Noise-canceling headphones:
For new parents, sneaking away for a few hours to enjoy a spa session is just not going to happen for a while. The next best thing is to play some relaxing tunes at home close your eyes for some ‘me time’. Noise-canceling headphones will help new parents get a few moments of much-needed stress relief.

Customized Darry Ring:
Darry Ring is a company that does not want repeat customers, and they will only ever sell one personalized ring per person, for their entire life. Designed to be the ultimate sign of commitment to your partner, a Darry Ring definitely isn’t available on Taobao and will need to be purchased at one of their stores around China or abroad. They can only be purchased after the person’s ID has been approved, meaning that Darry Ring has verified that this person has never purchased one in the past, and a certificate along with your new ring is presented as a symbol of your everlasting love.

Did you get a Push Present after delivering your child? Leave your comment below to share your story.

KEEP READING: Why Gender Reveal Parties Aren’t a Thing in China

Photos: Darry Ring, Taobao, Unsplash

If there is one thing I’ve learned in the last few months, it’s that the sight of a pregnant belly brings out strange impulses in people. Suddenly, everyone’s an expert on my pregnancy and my baby, except me. It’s not that I don’t appreciate pregnancy hacks and advice, but when I’m constantly getting unsolicited advice on how I should be feeling and what I should be doing, it can get a bit irritating. Superstitions and cultural-specific wisdom, like “you need to eat three boiled goose eggs in your first trimester so that your baby won’t get sick” and “you need to eat lots of grapes so that your baby has big beautiful eyes” are one thing, but perhaps the thing that irritates me the most is all the “oh let me tell you how you’re going to feel” advice from my single male friends. Sorry, but I really don’t need pregnancy mansplained to me.

So that got me thinking, if these guys are so eager to shell out pregnancy advice, maybe they should get a taste of what this whole process actually like. When I discovered that some of Beijing’s maternity hospitals, including Oasis International Hospital actually offer men the chance to experience labor with the childbirth simulation machines, I just had to see this for myself.

It doesn’t look intimidating, but it is…

If you’ve never heard of one before, a labor simulator is a machine with shock pads that are placed where the ovaries are (or would be, for men) and deliver a mild shock for about five minutes. The machine has 10 levels and the nurse controlling the machine can gradually increase the shock level from one to 10. According to the team at Oasis, it’s very rare to see a man make it all the way to level 10. Most give up around levels three or four.

So What Does the Childbirth Simulator Feel Like?

To see the machine in action, we hooked up Oasis International Hospital’s Outreach & Communications Coordinator Joshua Hiller. Thanks for being a good sport!

Getting a firm grip on the couch…

A few seconds into level two Hiller tells us “it feels like someone’s pressing on my groin area and it’s going up to my stomach. It’s slightly ticklish. I can feel the electroshocks going up and down my body.” Level two doesn’t seem so bad…

Turning the machine up to level three and we could start seeing beads of sweat on Hiller’s forehead. “It feels like there’s tightening around my groin and legs. There’s shock going through my whole body” says Hiller through gritted teeth. By level five “the pain jumps around my whole body” and Hiller calls it quits. “Simulation failed” the machine loudly announces. Basically this means that Hiller gave up when his imaginary baby had just started crowning.

“I need an epidural…”

According to the Mayo Clinic, each birthing experience is different and active labor can last four to eight hours or more. This is when the cervix starts to dilate and your contractions become stronger. During our little experiment, Hiller only lasted about 10 minutes with the childbirth simulator, although that was probably long enough to give him a bit of perspective on what giving birth is really like.

At Oasis International Hospital the labor simulation machine is a complimentary experience available for all expecting parents and staff encourage expecting dads to make an appointment to try it, so they can better understand what their partner will be going through in a few short months. But it’s not only for dads: moms-to-be are also encouraged to try it, as the simulation machine can give you a taste of what labor pains feels like, although the real thing is a much deeper and longer experience.

Aside from Hillier, we spoke to a few other men who have tested out the labor simulation machine, and they said that it was a whole different type of pain that what they’ve ever experienced before. Just a few short minutes of being hooked up to the labor simulator, and they confessed to feeling exhausted like they’ve just ran a marathon, saying that no amount of workouts or time under a tattoo needle could have ever prepared them for it.

To watch Hiller’s experience with the labor simulator click on the photo below:

Oasis International Hospital is a full-service private hospital with international standard medical care. Its medical team provides patient-centered care in a comforting and stress free atmosphere. Oasis offers a full array of inpatient and outpatient services under one roof. Departments include dental, dermatology, emergency care, ENT, mental health, OB/GYN, orthopedics, opthalmology, pediatrics, surgery, traditional Chinese medicine, urology, and more. The state-of-the-art hospital features surgical theaters, ER, ICU, NICU, and a medical imaging center with MRI and CT. Homelike private rooms and delivery suites offer comfort, safety, and privacy for patients and their guests. Direct billing is available for most insurance providers.

9 Jiuxianqiao Beilu, Chaoyang District
朝阳区酒仙桥北路9号
Mon-Sat 8.30am-5.30pm (some clinics open from 8.30am-12.30pm), daily 24hrs emergency care
Tel: 400 UR OASIS (876 2747)

KEEP READING: Pregnancy Diary: Why Gender Reveal Parties Aren’t a Thing in China

Sources: www.mayoclinic.org

Photos: Uni You, Christian Bowen on Unsplash

You’re getting rounder by the day as you near your due date and your mind has naturally started to turn to the practicalities of the delivery itself, including what you bring to the hospital. This isn’t like packing for a regular holiday or staycation, and leaving it until the last minute definitely isn’t the way to go.

Most hospitals will give you a list of recommended items to pack in your hospital or ‘go bag’, and a quick Google search will help fill in the blanks for the rest. But we found that after a few searches, the length of the packing lists varied pretty drastically and really depend on where you are going to be giving birth. One mom who delivered her baby in a small town in rural China, for example, recommended packing things that you would generally never expect to provide, ranging from snacks and drinks to kitchen towels and plastic buckets to wash your face in afterward. Depending on where you’re choosing to deliver your baby, the amenities provided by the hospitals will vary and so will the regulations.

Local Chinese hospitals recommend you pack the following:
Bed pads (like the kind pets use for potty training)
Adult diapers
Cotton tissues
Disposable underwear
Red Bull and chocolate (yes, really!)
Straws and cups
Baby diapers
Baby clothes
Slippers
Comfortable cotton clothing
A hat for mom when you leave the hospital

Oasis International Hospital they recommend moms bring clothes for mom, blankets, a hat for leaving the hospital, but you do not need to pack baby clothes unless you want your child to wear what you’ve selected. Otherwise your brand new baby can go home in the stylish new attire prepared for by the hospital. They also recommend that Chinese national moms bring health records, passports of ID cards of both parents which will be used for processing the birth certificate, and finally books and music to help you feel at ease.

International hospitals like Oasis will prepare things like sanitary towels, toiletries, disposable underwear, diapers, absorbent bed pads, bum cream, disposable breast pump attachments, along with little extras for you to always remember the special day by like gift basket with brand new baby clothes and newborn photos. In short, hospitals like Oasis, Beijing United Family Hospital, and AmCare have maternity rooms that are designed like hotels, with all your essentials ready, and meals will be prepared based on your dietary restrictions.

You won’t be leaving the hospital immediately after delivery which means that aside from stylish fashion apparel, there are a few necessities that’ll help you ease into your first few days of motherhood like nipple creams and breast pumps if you’ve already purchased one. For germaphobes like myself, I always travel with my own set of towels and a nifty travel linen set that is essentially like a big sleeping bag that easily covers the pillow, mattress, and comforter of any bed. On Taobao they start from around RMB 35 and can be found by searching 旅行床单 (lǚxíng chuángdān).

PJs? No PJ? Sleep in whatever you like.

If you own a car, you’ll also need to figure out how to use your car seat before you need to head to the hospital. But if you’re planning on taking a Didi home, there are strollers like the Doona Car Seat & Stroller that collapses into an infant car seat and comes highly recommend by Beijing parents who don’t drive.

The Doona car seat stroller in action

And What About Your Partner?

While they’re not the star of the show, your partner has still got a big part to play. Make sure that your partner also has a hospital go-bag ready so that they’re not dropping you off in the hospital and running home to pack their own stuff. Nobody needs that extra stress.

If you’re delivering in a local hospital, be sure to have cash on hand. Unlike international hospitals, some local hospitals will only accept cash before performing any sort of procedure. And when we say cash, we mean physical bills that come out of the ATM. Remember those? Don’t assume that WeChat and Alipay will always be accepted in hospitals.

Partners should pack their favorite pillows and preferred toiletries as well (but leave the cologne at home). After all, they’re also not going anywhere for a while, so they might as well be as comfortable as possible. Just don’t overpack on the clothes. Pack stuff that’s functional instead of purely stylish.

You and your partner can also pack some of your favorite snacks, especially if they’re the kind that’s hard to find in local supermarkets. Just don’t go overboard with the snacks, as you’re only going to be there for a few days and delivery apps like elema and Meituan can be quick convenient ways to get your favorites delivered right to the hospital front door so there’s no need to pack a whole case of Red Bull no matter how tempting it may be. For entertainment, my husband and I love movies so you can be sure we’re packing our portable projector in his hospital go-bag so that we can watch our favorite movies instead of the local Chinese channels. Basically it comes down to “what can I stick in a carry-on size suitcase that’ll make both of us feel right at home?”

KEEP READING:  Why Gender Reveal Parties Aren’t a Thing in China

Source: www.chinaslostpanda.com
Photos: raspberryglow.com, shopdoona.com