“OMG, he slid in her DMs and he was flexing. She totally curved him, it was phat to watch” 

“LOFL, he’s such a noob”

“IKR! But she’s also emo, TBH”

“LOL, r u throwing shade at her?”

“She is such a tool, bruh”

“Ait bae, gotta go. Was dope chattin”

“KK”

I may have made that conversation up, but rest assured, this is definitely what a real text conversation looks like between your teen and their friends. Even auto-correct simply gave up trying to decipher this coded millennial vocabulary. But, can you?

Quick facts about teen text-messaging

According to a 2018 Pew Research Study, nearly 95 percent of US teens had access to a cell phone, and nearly 45 percent of them said they were “online constantly”. Likewise, as of 2010, the average teen was sending and receiving around 3,339 text messages per month (when do they even study?). Between slang and short-form language that’s more conducive to quick texts, these messages have morphed into a language only they understand.

The dark side to all this? Teens are growing more and more comfortable with a language that’s relatively unfamiliar to the rest of us, which in turn has significantly impacted their ability to write proper words and speak proper English. What’s more, texting in general may be limiting their social interactions as they’d much rather text than have face-to-face conversations.

A short dictionary for parents

Being radical doesn’t mean you belong to an extreme sect of a political branch; phat doesn’t mean you need to go to Weight Watchers; sick doesn’t mean you require medical attention, and dope has nothing to do with drugs. All these words mean one thing; COOL.

A Bae in teen talk stands for “Before Anyone Else.” It’s used to describe a boyfriend, girlfriend, or good friend. Bruh isn’t that undergarment that supports your breasts, it means “Bro or dude” in teen lingo and is used gender neutrally. 

To curve is to reject or ghost someone romantically and emo refers to someone who is too emotional or a drama queen.

A newbie or a person who doesn’t know what they are doing is known as a Noob and a Tool is someone who is stupid, obnoxious, rude, and/or embarrasses themselves (I know a few tools!).

The teen-text/talk vocabulary list is endless.

Beware

All this teen talk is largely harmless (except for their school grades). However, there are codes to look out for in such conversations that may be potentially dangerous to them and others.

53X means “sex” and CU46 means “see you for sex.” Molly is not her best friend’s name, it’s a euphemism for the dangerous party drug ecstasy. Smashing means having casual sex and the plug is someone that supplies drugs and/or alcohol that will leave them turnt (high or drunk). “X” doesn’t mark the spot, it too stands for ecstasy. WTTP  is “Want to trade photos?” And LMIRL means “Let’s meet in real life.”

Again, the list is non-exhaustive – if for no other reason than it’s constantly evolving and being added to – and parents should watch out for these and many other dangerous conversations, as well as signs of cyber-bullying, which is a growing trend among tech-savvy, texting teens.

Not all bad

For many of us, texting generally lets us say what we want without being interrupted. I have found emotional relief and I have strengthened friendships through texting. So, it’s not all bad. 

For teens, texting reportedly has a positive impact too (bad grammar notwithstanding). Introverted youth may see this as an alternate way of communication. Texting may help them relay what they otherwise wouldn’t during a face-to-face interaction. 

Our “tween” daughter is soon getting her own mobile phone. Phat, right? IMO, I will not be a noob in deciphering her texts. OMG!

KEEP READING When Two (Cultures) Become One: Differences In Cross-Cultural Marriages

Images: Giphy, Pexels

Eunsoo Amy Han had had enough. Enough of the hush-hush culture surrounding female menstruation that hung around her at school, and in society at large. She was tired of whispering to her friends when she needed a sanitary pad or had cramps. She wanted to be able to just talk about it, like any other normal topic of discussion.

So when she was asked to name trending issues in her Current Affairs class at Tsinghua International School, the topic naturally came to mind. She discovered then that most of her female classmates felt the same way, and that the boys basically had no idea what menstruation was. Thus, the idea for a big school event to publicize the issue and start a conversation about menstruation was born.

The idea was to organize an event that normalized period talk, while also raising awareness and funds to help re-stock the sanitary pad vending machine in the girls’ bathroom, which had been empty for some time. Attendees would pay for a pack of pads to be used as currency at the event, then trade them for water balloons for a water fight. The rest of the school jumped on board, with the Science Club setting up a booth to demonstrate the absorption capabilities of various sanitary pads, and the Beauty & Fashion Club designing and selling a one-of-a-kind tote bag with the message “No Shame”.

“It went really well!” exclaimed Han during our phone interview afterward, “We started a real conversation about this at the school.” The event had been targeted at high schoolers, but even sixth-graders from middle school got involved. All in all, the event raised RMB 2,000 and plenty of pad donations, which Han estimates will stock the vending machine for about a year.

Each pad sticker represents a country and its menstrual myths are written on the back of the sticker

But you can’t start a revolution without some protest, and the event faced its fair share when a few parents got wind of what was happening and did not want their children talking about the female cycle. “Some classmates’ parents felt really uncomfortable talking about this,” laments Han. However, she’s quick to explain that she understands they were raised in a different time and only faults society for not being more open earlier.

Han’s quest to normalize period talk is just getting started though, and the school’s debate team has begun incorporating the issue into their discussions. “We’ve already started looking for successors to pass the torch to so that they can do this event again next year,” she shares. Keep fighting the good fight, girl!

Look out for more Period Talk in our upcoming series.

READ MORE: Dear Me: Dating Lessons For Teenagers From Your Future Self

Photos: Tsinghua International School   

While the rest of China was celebrating International Children’s Day with cake and ice cream, the Law on Protection of Minors was being revised to better address a number of outstanding issues facing children under the age of 18.

The new revisions that were added to the original 1991 law will apply to both local and foreign youth and were implemented to protect their physical and mental health, as well as their rights and interests. The amendments aim to “promote the comprehensive development of minors’ moral, intellectual, physical, and artistic labor [and]cultivate ideal, ethical, educated, and disciplined socialist builders and successors.”

Thus, beginning Jun 1, 2021, “online game service providers are not allowed to provide online game services to minors from 10pm to 8am the next day.” Furthermore, online businesses are not allowed to engage underage users with “addictive” products and services. And in seeking to establish “a unified electronic identity authentication system for minors in online games… online game service providers shall require minors to register and go in to online games with their real identity information.”

The legislative changes also include a number of provisions directed at parents. For instance, parents are encouraged to “improve their internet literacy, regulate their own use of the internet, and strengthen the guidance and supervision of minors’ use of the internet” so as to “effectively prevent minors from indulging in the internet.”

Another provision of the new law requires parents to “adopt child safety seats and educate minors to abide by traffic rules.” Incidentally, this isn’t the first time child safety seat laws have been introduced. Rather, it seems to be a second attempt at enforcing rules first drafted in 2013. However, like in the past, the car seat regulation is vaguely worded as it doesn’t state age, height, or weight specifications of the child.

“I hope this latest law will make it more common for parents with babies to use car seats. I have a Doona stroller that collapses into a car seat. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to argue with a Didi driver because they’ve asked me to put the stroller in the trunk and just hold my baby because they don’t want the wheels to get their car seat dirty.” says one Beijing mom. “It’s gotten to the point where my mother-in-law and I have a routine when that happens. We’d spend the entire car ride passive-aggressively discussing how irresponsible it is for adults not to put their babies in car seats and who would actually be legally responsible should we get into a car accident and the baby gets hurt because she wasn’t in a car seat.”

Beyond the scope of parenting, “schools and kindergartens should carry out propaganda and education activities such as diligence and thrift, opposing waste, cherishing food and civilized diet, to help minors establish a sense of shame in waste and pride in saving, and develop a civilized, healthy and green lifestyle,” states another provision in the new mandate. Similarly, educational institutions must report cases of severe bullying, sexual abuse, or harassment to the authorities promptly.

The updated provisions also forbid teens from purchasing alcohol, tobacco, and lottery tickets, while denying them entry into commercial entertainment venues such as bars and “internet services business venues.”

READ MORE: WATCH | What Drinks Contain Alcohol and Can Kids Buy it Unsupervised?

Images: Unsplash

In the US, it’s common to see teens pick up all sorts of jobs; lawn mowing, babysitting, working at a restaurant, and so much more. But here in Beijing, China, things tend to work a little differently. There are classic part-time jobs that teens pick up here, like babysitting and tutoring, but ever since elementary school, I’ve noticed the kids find many other ways to make money on the side.

Babysitting, Tutoring, and Internships

Everyone’s heard about the stereotypical part-time jobs: babysitting, lawn mowing, raking the lawn, tutoring. But in Beijing, a giant metropolitan area where a large chunk of residents have ayis and live in apartment buildings with no yard, many of these job opportunities don’t exist for teens. Not to say that all of the job opportunities are taken away through – babysitting and tutoring are still popular in Beijing. One of my closest friends babysits her neighbors all the time, and I’ve even gotten opportunities to tutor some of my mom’s friends’ kids. It’s hard to find these sorts of jobs from their listings, but it’s easy to pick up a job like this if you have good connections with friends and neighbors!

HongBao and Gift Savings

Even though saving isn’t a source of income for teens, I’ve noticed that kids pay a lot of attention to it in the world of finance. I’ve saved up every hongbao that I’ve gotten since I was old enough to keep them for myself, so much so that now whenever my mom needs cash, she turns to me and borrows the money that I’ve saved from each Chinese New Year. And I’ve noticed this tendency to save in many others my age, in different forms. Something super common in my school is asking for cash directly every time there is an opportunity to get a gift. During the Secret Santa exchange this year, at least a good half of our class asked directly for cash, in hopes of saving up as much as possible.

WeChat Businesses

WeChat is the most common way of communication in China, with over 1.15 billion active users worldwide, and is the main social media that many teenagers like me use. And teens have used that to their advantage. Now when scrolling down moments, it isn’t uncommon to see one or two posts marketing something that a kid may be selling. And some people may even go full out and start an entire store worth of that product. In our grade, many even go as far as to create group chats to promote what they are selling: whether it’s selling second-hand items or food, or sometimes even hand-crafted objects that might catch one’s interest.

Overall, even though part-time jobs aren’t something commonly seen in Beijing, many kids still find resourceful ways to make money. With the way technology has been introduced to the current generation, it isn’t surprising that many kids make money online, and I won’t be surprised if I start noticing this even more in the future.

KEEP READING: How Do You Teach Your Kids About Money? 

Images: Pexels

Scrolling through social media platforms these days, you are struck by the volume of makeup tutorials available, done by what appears to be young men and women. It is, however, difficult to place their ages. One might assume they are all in their late teens or early to mid-twenties. It comes as a great shock to some to learn that some of these makeup savants are as young as ten! Thanks to makeup, now teens and tweens can easily pass for young adults, and it is safe to say this evolution from playing with GI Joe trucks and Barbie dolls to professional makeup artists or MUAs for short, is jarring for many. For parents and child care professionals, the fear is founded in the belief that the use of makeup at such an early age will foster a ‘neurosis of glamor,’ which might, in turn, catapult these children into feelings of insecurity, lack of self-confidence, and ultimately, an obsession with attaining impossible physical perfection.

But is this fear of the worst-case scenario entirely founded? Is it true that children and teens experiment with makeup due to feelings of inadequacy and peer pressure? A few facts might put things in perspective.

According to a study done by market research agency Mintel, about 80% of children between nine to 11 years old in the US use some form of beauty or personal grooming product.  Additionally, over half of all 12 to 14-year-olds use eyeliner, eyebrow pencils, eye shadow, and mascara;  an additional 45% of this same group use foundation or concealer products. The research found equal amounts of cosmetic use in boys as they did in girls. Even though this same research is yet to be replicated in China or most other Asian countries, we would assume these findings would still hold, especially given the drive for perfection in the region, with countries like South Korea leading the world in cosmetic surgery among teens and young adults.

We wanted to find out what it’s like for Beijing’s teens, what their relationship with makeup and the world of cosmetics is like, and if it is that big a deal to wear makeup these days? Is it an avenue of self-expression or simply a part of a self-care routine akin to putting on sunscreen before leaving the house? In a world where makeup artists such as James Charles shot to global fame in his mid-teens thanks to YouTube, would it be right to say that makeup is now as much of an art as it is a means to a simple aesthetic end?

Paris Lau

Talking to Beijing’s teens, we got a mixed bag of responses, from influencer culture as a driving force in their decision to wear makeup to it being a personal decision not taken too seriously. For Paris Lau, the image of perfect celebrities went a long way in her wearing makeup. Revealing she started wearing makeup at the tender age of 12, Lau adds “Yes, because all the influencers wear it, sometimes I compare myself with them.” Lau grew up watching her mother wearing makeup, but she insists that her mother’s makeup technique is more on the natural side. Lau prefers the more transformational effects of applying makeup, as she explains: “I think it’s good because you can enhance your features without completely changing your face and you can always take makeup off.” Lau now wears makeup daily and admits it boosts her self-confidence, and she does so with the support of her parents, on the condition that she is not too heavy-handed with her application.

Cheryl Li

For Cheryl Li, makeup is no more than a tool of expression. “It’s an art. It allows people to bring out the best of themselves, and lets them express themselves in the way they want,” explains Li, but she is also quick to add, “Some people do get obsessed with makeup and feel like they are not good enough without makeup.” Unlike Lau, Li started using makeup at age 12 out of pure curiosity, and once she started she just kept doing it. Her parents, though supportive, had some concerns. As Li explains, “My dad is worried about my skin. He said if I don’t clean my face properly, it can damage my skin!”

Haiwen Huang

Haiwen Huang’s concerns vary slightly from her peers’. “It somehow makes me look too mature,” Huang laments, echoing the sentiments of those against the early use of makeup by teenagers. Huang chooses to see makeup as a costume one puts on and takes off at appropriate occasions. Unlike her peers, she waited until she was 14 years old to start wearing makeup. On her frequency of using makeup, Huang explains it’s “about three times a week. When I’m out with my friends or at a party. It makes us look better and gets us respect in some ways. Especially at parties, it fits the occasion.” Huang’s parents are not entirely on board with her use of makeup, however comparatively limited it might be, citing negative effects on her skin.

Of the teens we sampled, there were a few points of consensus. Kids under the age of ten are way too young to wear makeup. The teens also expressed an awareness of the possible harmful effects of makeup on both their physical and mental states. And as much as we might all fear social media’s vast influence on impressionable teenagers, the ubiquitous nature of makeup use at present might mean it won’t hold as much fascination for the younger generations as it has for previous generations. As these teens are vocal, expressive, experimental, and active on social media, so too is the use of makeup a way to express themselves, which they are happy to use, but do not feel under any danger of being permanently “hooked on the look.”

KEEP READING: A L’Afro Mode: Our Experiences of Growing and Caring for Natural Black Hair in China

Images: Courtesy of students

This article appeared in the beijingkids 2020 October issue

Nowadays, phones play a huge role in our lives. Just how many times have you told your kids to “Put down your phone!”? It’s true, teens basically live on them, using them to order food, study new vocabulary, chat with a friend, and even just scroll through Instagram when we’re bored. “I’m probably on it 60% of the time I’m awake.” 16-year-old Kyiesha M. says.

But although phones can be distracting, I believe that they can actually help teens socially, academically, and also raise their awareness of the world.

First of all, phones are essential for staying in touch with our friends and loved ones. We all know that notification sound, where your phone lights up and it shows that someone has replied to your last text. And you’ll probably drop everything to pick up your phone to type a reply. But didn’t you just see that person at school today? In this situation, maybe phones are over-used. However, they are essential for keeping up long-distance friendships that you wouldn’t want to fade. As 15-year-old Stella S. says “since I’m from Korea, it’s hard for me to communicate with my Korean friends, but social media allows me to keep in touch with them.”

When it comes to academics, many parents believe that phones are actually distracting you from achieving better grades. But this isn’t completely true, as some students use their phones to memorize and take down vocabulary for their next test. As Kenji K. says, “I can look things up and use WeChat to ask my classmates questions regarding a task.” These smart actions with social media can actually help teens in their studies.

What about current affairs? Some people believe that students are too involved in their phones to know what’s going on in the outside world. On the contrary, Michelle Z. says that “looking at the People’s Daily official account on WeChat can raise my awareness of things happening around me since I don’t have time to watch the news on TV”. Since we are living in a busy city, why not use time on the metro to scroll through your phone to look at the news?

Even though I believe we’re living in a time where phones are generally good for teens, there are still problems associated with constantly staying on your phone. Linda H. admits that “even though I use it to study, social media apps do distract me and cause me to procrastinate a lot.” And Alex C. points out that “there is also some fake news out there which can confuse us.”

So what should you do? Set stricter phone limits or let your teens stay on it regardless? Actually, this is where parents come into the mix. With the help of an adult who knows more about the world than you, they can provide you with the reliable news accounts and also help you structure your screen-time, with a password you don’t know, so you can stay on track while actually studying with the help of your phone. You don’t have to quit all of your social media, but instead, use it in a smart way to benefit you.

KEEP READING: Should We Be Posting Pictures Of Our Children On Social Media?

Photos: Unsplash

This article appeared in the beijingkids 2020 August issue

Food is the cornerstone of all life. But what if one is deprived of that cornerstone? That’s exactly what many vulnerable people around the world have faced with the burden of the pandemic on their shoulders. Countless have become unemployed and others who traveled from abroad still must enter quarantine, becoming cut off from their usual food supplies.

Older people appear to be most susceptible to the disease, so many find themselves unable to leave the house, even for grocery-shopping without putting their lives at risk. Thankfully, many communities around the world are catering to this very need, by organizing volunteers who can package and deliver food to the doorsteps of the elderly, disabled, and other individuals with underlying health conditions. And upon discovering that adolescents are the least vulnerable to coronavirus, many young people across the globe have taken it upon themselves to help those who are less fortunate.

In Jerusalem where I’m currently living, my friend’s brother began volunteering in late March. “It made me feel like I was helping even during a time like this,” he said, “there were cases when people cried in front of me because I brought them food.” Inspired, I decided to join him.

Boxes of goodies, ready to go out!

An organization that has played a major role in supplying and distributing the food here is Latet, an Israeli nonprofit organization founded in 1996. The name Latet originates from the Hebrew word לתת, meaning ‘to give’; to give to the elderly, to give to the poor, and to give to all those in need.

One of their warehouses is located half an hour away from my house. Along with other teenagers from various schools and Zionist youth movements in the area, we gather around an assembly line, packaging boxes containing all sorts of food for those in quarantine, ranging from chocolate spread to hummus to couscous.

Mingling with the teenagers is one volunteer in his 70s, who despite his old age, insists on being the one to carry heavy packages from the assembly line to the carts. This set an unparalleled example for the rest of us, and his exclamations of  “I’ve got the power!” light up everyone’s faces.

In Beijing, the workload is split up between communities. Each community has a group of young volunteers, typically in their 20s or 30s, responsible for taking care of quarantined members. To minimize infection risks, those in quarantine request the food and daily supplies they need via Wechat. Volunteers wearing their signature red cloth badge then complete the shopping for them and deliver it to their door. Wechat groups are often opened for both the volunteers and quarantined citizens, allowing communication to be as easy as ever.

This simple act of kindness became increasingly popular and was awarded the phrase 隔离不隔爱 gé lì bù gé ài, meaning “quarantined but not quarantined from love”. Whether it was back in the freezing days of February or under the current blazing July sun, these volunteers have been diligently looking after their communities, offering the most valuable and safest human connection in a world where human connection can be dangerous.

In the face of the coronavirus pandemic, we, as young people, must take advantage of our time and energy by stepping forward and providing for those who have provided for us all our lives. If I was to name one happy memory from 2020, it would have to be the satisfaction of sealing a packaged box of food, as I smiled broadly under my mask.

KEEP READING: The Romantic World of Beijing Teens and Their Love Lives

Qinglan Du is a 16-year-old student from Beijing City International School. She’s originally from Beijing but is currently living in Jerusalem with her mother due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Aside from her passion for writing, she enjoys singing, spending time with friends and family, and experiencing new cultures.

Photos: Courtesy of Qinglan Du

As the annual gaokao period begins this morning, kids this year are not only faced with the pressure of the exams but also the added pressure of COVID-19. Gāokǎo (高考, literally “high exam”) is a university-entrance examination taken at the end of high school and can be described as the Chinese equivalent of the American SAT, Baccalaureate exams, or British A-Levels.

The annual gaokao period usually lasts between two to three days in early June, but was postponed this year due to COVID-19, and will now take place over four days. Approximately 10.71 million teenagers across China will embark on the most stressful four days of their young academic careers.

To ensure the safety of the students, the National Health Commission announced a series of strict prevention measures that were implemented at testing sites this year. Firstly, all students and staff were encouraged to start monitoring their body temperatures 14 days leading up to the exam, and as with most venues in Beijing, temperature checks will be taken again upon entering the testing site. When it comes to personal protective equipment, students in medium and high-risk areas are required to wear masks at all times, even during the exam, but masks remain optional for students in low-risk areas. Each testing site has been required to set up isolation rooms in the event that any person present begin showing signs of fever or respiratory symptoms.

Extra police and security have been allocated to the testing sites around the city to ensure the safety of the students and Wang Hui, a senior official with the Ministry of Education has assured the public that the COVID-19 preventative measures will not disrupt the gaokao’s strict no-cheating policy.

Students are given a heroes welcome as they finish the grueling exams

The gaokao is not a matter to be taken lightly. Students and kids caught cheating in the exam face jail time, and for many, the results determine their academic careers for life. One hotel located within walking distance of a gaokao testing site in Dongcheng District has reported parents checking into hotel rooms with their children for the past week, in preparation for the gaokao exam. “We want to be close so the testing site in case there’s traffic in the morning,” one mom tells us. Some parents have even gone as far as to consult a fengshui consultant on the layout of the hotel room – anything to give their kid a leg up on the grueling exam to come.

KEEP READING:  “Shhhhh!!! They Are Taking the Gaokao” 

Photo: nytimes.com, unsplash

Since 2015, Beijing-based mental health organization CandleX has been offering to English-speaking teenagers and adults living in Beijing. Designed to fill the gap in mental health support and resources for Western expats that founder Xiaojie Qin, herself an English speaking Chinese national identified, it has grown to include a wide range of ongoing projects, workshops, and acts as a bridge between the community and mental health resources.

Now, CandleX ais gearing up for their CBT Online Course Club, an online course Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) online course to run between Jul 15 and Aug 31.  CBT is a research and evidence-based form of psychotherapy which has shown to be effective for many chronic, recurring, and challenging mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and trauma. Some of the techniques that it teaches include relaxation, coping, resilience, stress management, and assertiveness, and this course is designed to help participants improve their understanding of, and gain coping skills for depression and anxiety with evidence-based treatment.

“We’re really excited about the course, we finally found one that is free” Qin explains “the course is offered via Future Learn, and the course is run by the University of Reading”. While the course itself is free, by signing up via CandleX and paying RMB 100 (or RMB 50 for students and those who make less than RMB 8,000/month) participants gain access to a variety of supplementary local resources such as a daily WeChat group chat with expat registered counselor Katie McLeod, to support and discuss each step of the course; a live weekly Webinar with registered counselor Melena Slaven; an end of program webinar with a clinical psychologist from an international hospital; and (restrictions permitting) a learners dinner at the end to recap and reflect on the experience. As Qin puts it “we’re not going to be able to replace all offline aspects, so it’s important to create some face-to-face moments when possible.”

The course is available to all ages, but CandleX has specifically included a school-aged teen on the planning board, to ensure that the entire process is appealing to teenagers and sensitive to their needs. Indeed, CandleX has been ramping up their youth engagement in the last two years, including by launching their very successful ‘Open Letter’ series (originally called Letters to my Parents) back in February. According to Qin, the window between 14 and 25 is the typical onset age for mental illness, which makes it critically important to offer interventions and support at this time.

For more information or to sign up for the course,  click here.

KEEP READING: CandleX Creates Space for Honesty Between Teens and Parents

Images: beijing kids (via Canva)