I don’t know about you, but I dread the question that every grandparent asks right around Thanksgiving: What do the kids want for [insert December holiday here]?

It’s a tricky tightrope act to allow grandparents the chance to show their love in some physical way while also retaining your family’s goal of making the holidays about being together and appreciating what we have and what we can give. It’s hard enough to promote the idea that the holidays are not about getting more “stuff” when every movie and TV show stresses the presents. It’s even harder when you live far away from relatives and they want to send your kids the equivalent of a hug inside a gift.

This is why we love asking for experiences instead of physical gifts. It started one year when our oldest kid’s birthday coincided with finding an outdoor class we couldn’t afford. Enter his grandparents who bought it for his birthday. As a thank you, we took photos of his adventures in the class and made them a little album. It was perfect: our son got a cool experience and our parents got a physical item that meant so much to them.

Beijing is no stranger to very exciting outings, so try to steer your kid’s gifts towards a fun activity or class. It will take a little time for both the grandparents and kids to get used to it, but how cool will it be to say that Papa and Nana got them a super cool science camp? Bonus: these presents won’t get stuck in Customs.

Go See a Show

Experiencing emotions in the same room as others is an excellent way to nurture a child’s empathy. Whether it’s the thrill of an acrobat show, the mystery of shadow puppetry, or a traditional bian lian (face changing) performance, children love seeing live theatre, and it’s sure to activate their imaginations as well as be an exciting night out!

Take Part in a Winter Camp

Since we can’t travel very far this year, keeping the kiddos happily occupied is even more important. There are a plethora of cool camps on offer this year, with everything from physical training to science experiments to learning about Chinese culture through the arts. Scan the QR code for all the latest winter camps listed on the beijingkids website.

Cooking Class With Friends

These are always a treat for birthday parties, so why not include friends in your kid’s gift? Whether it’s baking and decorating a cake or learning how to make traditional Chinese dishes, you have your choice of local favorite The Hutong, as well as mall offerings for unique cooking classes that all ages enjoy!

Ice Skating Lesson

Another cool (pun intended) outing to share with friends is an ice skating lesson. There are well-known rinks at Solana and China World Mall, or find an instructor for private group lessons at Shichahai, Kunming Lake at the Summer Palace, or the Bird’s Nest (aka Beijing National Stadium)!

Make-Your-Own Pizza Dinner

There’s no reason to reserve this kind of party for birthdays, either. Rent a table at one of the local pizza joints like Domino’s or Pizza Hut that also has a chef helping kids to build their own pizza. And you never know: if they get to choose their own ingredients, they may just try toppings other than pepperoni for once.

Explore an Escape Room

Teenagers will love one of the many escape rooms in our city. From horror themes to ice castles, Harry Potter to tattoo parlors, the birthday teen will get locked in a room with their closest friends and solve puzzles or make the right choices that lead them to an escape – if they’re lucky – and smart!

Flyover China

If your kids are more into taking flight than tight spaces, this could be a great excuse to finally try Flyover China. You take a ride across China without ever leaving the projection room. Special sensory effects with your feet suspended in mid-air work with the ride’s motion to make you feel like you’ve traveled for miles, even if you’re stuck in Beijing. The ride is only 10 minutes, but pair it with a day out at Shijingshan Amusement Park for some fun memories.

Virtual Santa Visit

Since kids are so used to making memories over video chat, why not extend that to Santa this year? If you missed one of the Santa sightings sprinkled throughout Beijing, just take a look at Kringle Mingle (https://kringleminglefun.com) or Jingle Ring (www.jinglering.com), the two that work best internationally. What better way to end such a Zoom filled year than a screen selfie with Santa?

KEEP READING: Last-Minute Christmas Gifts from Local Creators and Brands

Images: canva

This article appeared in the beijingkids 2020 December issue

‘Tis the season of giving, but only if you do it correctly. While your intentions behind giving your Chinese friend a holiday gift might be thoughtful, gift-giving culture in China is different from the West, and sometimes, we unknowingly give offensive gifts.

For example, in the US, I was taught not to give perfume as a gift because it could be misconstrued as telling the person they’re smelly. But here, perfumes are a perfectly acceptable gift, while other seemingly innocent items are not.

Before you start wrapping gifts for the holiday season, take a look at which gifts not to give in China and get yourself acquainted with the gift-giving/receiving culture here.

Gifts

Red Envelopes

The most popular gift for the holiday season is a hongbao (红包), a red envelope filled with money. Everybody likes a bit of extra cash and it’s a perfectly acceptable (and preferred) gift for holidays and special occasions like weddings. The only thing to keep in mind is that in China, numbers have different implications. Here, 666 has nothing to do with satan. In China, six is a lucky number. Four (四 sì), on the other hand, is a number to avoid, as it sounds like the character for death (死 sǐ). That is why the number four is avoided in phone numbers, license plates, and addresses. For addresses that do contain fours, the rent is usually less. Over the years, I’ve learned to always have a few extra hongbao on me at all times during the holiday season, especially when attending parties. The last thing I want to see is the disappointment in a little kid’s eyes when they realize that all the other kids got a hongbao but because their parents forget to RSVP them they have to miss out on the fun.

Clocks

Clocks should just be avoided as gifts in China in general. While a nice watch is ok with the younger generation, the older generation will be offended by anything remotely time-related. In Chinese to give a clock (送钟 sòng zhōng) sounds like sòng zhōng (送终), a funeral ritual.

Umbrellas

In Chinese, the word for umbrella is sǎn (伞), which sounds like the word for separation, sàn (散). Give an umbrella and you’re implying you either want to end the friendship or break up.

Shoes

While Jimmy Choo might be having its end of year sale, giving shoes as a gift isn’t popular in China. The Chinese word for shoes is xié (鞋), which is pronounced exactly the same way as the Chinese character for evil (邪 xié). However, it’s completely fine to give shoes as gifts if they’re for immediate family.

Flowers

It’s always nice to bring flowers to a party for the host, but there is one flower that you must avoid — chrysanthemums. In China, these flowers are usually used to honor the deceased and tend to only be seen at funerals.

Always Bring a Gift

No matter what country you’re from, it’s good manners to always bring a gift for the host when you’re visiting their home. If your hosts drink alcohol, they’ll appreciate a nice bottle of whatever it is they like most. Boxed loose leaf tea is always a nice gesture and a fruit basket is a ubiquitous symbol of Chinese New Year. Giving a box of oranges or a box of apples is also welcomed, as they symbolize safety and fortune, respectively. Sweets, nuts, and the ever-popular Ferrero Rocher also make good gifts.

Gift Wrapping

Minimalist designs may be all the rage right now, but when it comes to wrapping gifts, your local friends are going to prefer more traditional red or gold-colored wrapping as it symbolizes luck, fortune, and wealth.

Gift Giving/Receiving Etiquette

1. When giving or receiving a gift, always do it with both hands. It’s a sign of politeness and respect.
2. Do not unwrap your gift right then and there. Here it’s considered impolite to unwrap a gift in front of the gift giver. Unless otherwise specified, wait until you get home.
3. No doesn’t mean no when it comes to gifts. Often people will refuse to accept a gift, so if someone turns down your gift, insist that they accept it a few more times before you give up.

KEEP READING: Chinese New Year Greetings

No matter where in the world you’re from, the holiday season means mulled wine, cookies galore, and plenty of opportunities to mingle and check out the wares on sale at bazaars. It should also mean great food, and we have a lineup of our favorite holiday dinners here.

If you want to find that perfect gift for your Ayi, your teacher, or your boss, then you need to mark your calendars for all these incredible activities around town! Don’t forget to browse for yourself as well. We all deserve a little extra something for ourselves in 2020.

The Beijing Flea Market
Dec 5, 12-6pm
Shop local handmade and design goods, food, wine, and more in the heart of Sanlitun at the holiday edition of The Beijing Flea Market. Enjoy a hot chocolate from The Local or Peach by Hulu while you browse wares from vendors like Liuba Draws, Pinyin Press, The Hutong, Halo Hummus, Antonia Sampson, The Green Room, and much, much more.

INN 2020 Holiday Bazaar
Dec 5, 2-4pm
The International Newcomer’s Network (INN) community isn’t just for Beijing’s newbies. You can always find great information and help for all your needs around town. This week’s holiday bazaar is sure to be a fun way to meet new people and reconnect with others!

The Hutong Winter Fayre
Dec 12,11am-6pm
With a “warm winter” theme, The Hutong once again opens its doors to local vendors and neighboring families alike. Find everything from chocolates to jewelry to postcards, and a special mulled wine. Plus, our sister site, the Beijinger, is a sponsor!

Rumble in the Jumble Vintage Christmas Bazaar
Dec 12, 12-6pm
Secondhand, handmade, and vintage specialties abound at this cool bazaar. You can also stop by our own beijingkids table to add to our gratitude tree or grab another special treat. Can’t wait to see you!

Europlaza Annual Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony and Festivities
Dec 12, 5-8pm
This one has everything: a choir, caroling, tree lighting, Santa Claus, and all the goodies that come with Christmas!

CBD Christmas 2020 Social Event
Dec 18, 6-9.30pm
Grab a seat for this buffet dinner at the CBD Restaurant in the Grand Millenium Beijing! Bring a wrapped gift, and participate in the great Gift Exchange!

Rumble in the Jumble Winter Solstice Bazaar
Dec 20, 12-6pm
If you get this close to Christmas and still don’t have all your gifts in a row, a quick and fun stop at the Winter Solstice Bazaar will sort you out! Stay tuned for more details, but the Rumble team of vendors and guests never disappoint.

KEEP READING: Donate Your Toys Here Before the Holidays

Photos: courtesy of the event organizers, Pexels

One Chinese tradition that you have to grasp quickly as a foreigner, is the concept of the Chinese red envelope. Whether you’re in China for business or pleasure, you’ll encounter situations in which you’re expected to give a hóngbāo (红包). Hongbao, as the name would suggest, are red packets that are filled with an amount of money and given as a gift. The red color of the envelope symbolizes good luck and is supposed to ward off evil spirits.

During Spring Festival, people of a higher rank are expected to give hongbao to their inferiors; bosses and managers will give an envelope to their employees, and parents will give one to their children.

Hóngbāo, or yāsuìqián?

When the gift is for children, it’s called yāsuìqián (压岁钱), which literally means “pressure age money.” During the Ming and Qing dynasties, the yasuiqian was given to children in the form of coins tied with a red string. It too was believed to protect the children from evil spirits as well as encompassing the sentiment of passing on good fortune. Today, parents tend to give a single RMB 100 note to their children, and to nieces and nephews, in a sealed envelope. It is polite to avoid opening the envelopes in front of relatives. If you’re an unmarried adult, you are still regarded as a child, when it comes to receiving hongbao.

Keep your employees happy

If you have an āyí (阿姨) and/or a driver, you’re also expected to give a hongbao. This bonus is given right before the Chinese New Year holiday, and is meant to help people return to their hometowns to see their families. The amount in the hongbao isn’t fixed, but an ayi will expect an amount equal to her monthly salary. If your ayi and driver have been with you for less than a year, you can pro-rata accordingly. You’re not forced to give the double salary amount in the red envelope, but it might avoid having a disgruntled employee or worse still, no employee after Spring Festival. In many companies, the hongbao is often given as the 13th month of salary and paid in January. Sadly, if it’s above the minimum salary income, this bonus will be taxed.

Presentation matters

The amount of money given should usually be a round number. Even numbers, except four, are better than odd, and eight is a particularly auspicious number. There is a widespread tradition that money should not be given in fours, or the number four should not appear in the amount, as the pronunciation of the word “four” (四 sì) is similar to that of the word for “death”(死 sǐ) and thus signifies bad luck. The money inside a red envelope should always be new and crisp. Folding the money or giving dirty or wrinkled bills is bad form. You can buy red envelopes at any supermarket and stationery shop, just be sure to check that it isn’t adorned with last year’s dead stock zodiac or that it says “Congratulations on your marriage” or some such.

Be a good guest

If you’re invited to someone’s home for Chinese New Year, it is tradition to present hongbao to the children and gifts to the adults. If your hosts drink alcohol, they’ll appreciate a nice bottle of whatever it is they like most. Boxed loose leaf tea is always a nice gesture and the fruit basket is a ubiquitous symbol of Chinese New Year. Giving a box of oranges or a box of apples is also welcomed, as respectively they symbolize safety and fortune. Sweets, nuts, and the ever-popular Ferrero Rocher, also make good gifts. Cut flowers aren’t normally a traditional gift for hosts in China, but small orange or kumquat trees are very traditional. If you’re wrapping a gift, there are some colors that are preferred: red is lucky, pink and yellow symbolize happiness, and gold represents fortune and wealth. Avoid white and black, which are used in funerals and symbolize death.

READ: 688 Million People Used WeChat Hongbao on Chinese New Year’s Eve 2018

This article first appeared on our sister site beijingkids.

Photo: mmbiz.qpic.cn