Sitting Month – Beijing Kids

From Here to Maternity: Moms in Mixed-Culture Marriages Talk About Birth and Beyond

Pennywu — Sun, 09 Jul 2017 07:00:17 +0000

Wu Jian is a stay-at-home mom. Her husband Matthew Lowish teaches at Dulwich College Beijing (DCB), and they have three children: daughters Kaili (age 6) and Tiesha (4), who are students at DCB, and son Jiesun who is a year old. The girls were born in the UK, but the family moved to Beijing in 2014, and had Jiesun here.

Were you told the gender of your baby/ babies at a scan? Did you want to know? Did you tell others?
I gave birth twice in the UK, to my 6 year old and 4 year old girls. When I was pregnant with my girls, I did want to know the gender of my baby, only because I wanted to know what to prepare. As far as I remember at about 14 or maybe 16 weeks I had a check up. When I was given the scan I asked the midwife at the hospital and they happily told me that I was having a baby girl, and I told my family about this.

What sort of birth did you want to have?
I have always wanted to have a natural birth, but all my children were big babies – my first girl was 8.2 pounds, my second girl was almost 9 pounds and my boy was also over 8 pounds even though he was born at only 37 weeks, so I have had a Caesarean section 3 times.

To what extent were you able to have the birth you wanted?
I have always enjoyed the moment when I gave birth, even though it was hard, but I enjoyed the moment when I saw my babies were born beautiful and healthy.

How were the medical professionals at your birth?
In the UK, with my two previous pregnancies, I really enjoyed seeing midwives. I had a lot of professional support and encouragement and I never worried about anything, as the midwives were always helpful, patient and happy to give suggestions, and I felt more personally attached to them. My last birth was in Beijing, but the experience was different, as it was my third pregnancy, and I was so nervous and always being told different things by different people.

Was your husband present at the birth? What part did he play?
With my birth in the UK, when I had a C-section, my husband was right beside me and he literally saw the baby came out from my tummy. The baby was handed over to him straight away and I had skin touch with my baby once she was out.

What support did your parents give you, before and after the birth?
In the UK, mainly the support was just my husband and myself.

What support did your husband’s parents give you, before and after the birth?
My in-laws did a lot with my children. When I gave birth to my second daughter they helped to look after my big girl and took her out for meals or to play in the park. Before the birth we would always help the kids to prepare and be aware that somebody would be joining our family soon, and they would learn how to share and look after each other.

Did you “zuò yuèzi” (麟墩綾)? If not, what did you do immediately after the birth?
I did not zuò yuèzi in the UK as this seems not their culture; also we really needed to move on and keep our daily life going as usual, but I did zuò yuèzi after my third birth in Beijing as I have got my family here to look after me and my children. We also had a full-time Ayi who took on the full responsibility of my housework.

Did you breastfeed? If so for how long?
My oldest girl and my son are both allergic to dairy milk products — so I breastfed my first till she was 3 years old, and my second girl was breastfed till 2 and a half. I am also planning to breastfeed my boy until at least the age of 2 I think.

Tyra Florence Johl, originally from the UK, came to Beijing with the intention of traveling the world but instead she met her soulmate, software engineer Wentao Du (Alex). They married in 2014 and had their son Micah Beilu Du in 2016. Florence is now a stay-at-home mom, and also studying for a Bsc (Hons) in Business and Management.

Were you told the gender of your baby/babies at a scan? Did you want to know? Did you tell others?
We found a really exciting gender reveal activity that we wanted to try at our baby shower, which consisted of a friend knowing the gender and painting my husband’s hands either blue or pink, which he would print on my belly while our eyes were closed. Therefore at one of the scan checkups, we asked the sonographer if we were able to have her write the gender on a piece of paper, fold it and hand it back. It was super exciting when we found out the gender of the baby!

What sort of birth did you want to have?
I wanted a home water birth, which is another reason why we wanted to go home as it is illegal in China. Health care in England is free to its citizens, which is another bonus reason to go home. I really wanted my Mum to be there too. My parents-in-law were of course sad that they were not going to be there but they thought it was the better plan.

To what extent were you able to have the birth you wanted?
I attended hypnobirthing classes in preparation for my home water birth and also hired the birthing tub. But what actually happened crushed me as I did not get the birth of my dreams (literally, I dreamt about a water birth almost every night). At 34 weeks pregnant, my water broke spontaneously and I was to be hospitalized for at least 3 weeks so that I could try to keep the baby put until he was full term (37 weeks). My baby just couldn’t wait and really wanted to celebrate Christmas with us – he was born 6 weeks early.

How were the medical professionals at your birth?
They always explained everything to me when I did not understand and always reassured me when I was worried. A complete opposite to my China experience when I was told at one of my ultrasound appointments that my baby was too small, yet I was getting too fat. Very blunt and insensitive. When I asked questions about things I did not quite understand, the doctor and sonographer refused to explain it to me. Both experiences were very different indeed.

Was your husband present at the birth? What part did he play?
My husband was present at my emergency C-section. I was terrified and he held my hand the whole way! Through contractions he would rub my back, adjust the lighting and turn up my hypnobirth audio. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner. My hero!

What support did your parents give you, before and after the birth?
My parents were incredible, especially as labor was unexpectedly 6 weeks early. They ran around like crazy buying baby clothes, toiletries, nappies, and made a chest of drawers in my dad’s workshop. My mum knitted blankets and deep cleaned the whole house while visiting me as much as possible bringing my favorite food, clothes that I needed.

What support did your husband’s parents give you, before and after the birth?
My parents-in-law were of course willing to do anything including flying over to England for the birth. My husband thought it wouldn’t be ideal as we wanted to focus on the birth rather than be worried about what guests were doing. However, they constantly video called us and always wanted to buy loads of things for the baby. We told them to wait but we understood they just wanted to help somehow as they were so far away. When I was hospitalized, we decided not to tell them as we didn’t want them to worry so we waited until I was in active labor. Of course they mentioned some strange things to me like not letting the cold or wind touch my skin, but it was winter, it was too cold anyway so I just agreed. After the birth they would send us messages about pulling my son’s nipples to let the liquid out… They mean well and as much as I would have liked them there for the birth, it was really nice for my husband and me to just get to know our baby and figure out our family dynamics for the first four months. Don’t get me wrong, my parents-in-law are wonderful people, it’s just cultural differences that get in the way sometimes.

Did you “zuò yuèzi” (麟墩綾)? If not, what did you do immediately after the birth?
I actually liked the concept of zuò yuèzi but not so much the traditional rules of not showering, not watching TV or looking at phones, being unable to leave the house, and so on. So we created our own. Due to having such a tough labor, we didn’t really start our zuò yuèzi until I was home. So my husband prepared all of my meals which included lots of soup. My appetite wasn’t quite there but boy was I thirsty! I didn’t know how thirsty breastfeeding made you. So soup was perfect. I then stayed in bed for the first week with my tiny (1.84kg) baby boy. I couldn’t move much anyway due to the C-section. The second week, I started moving around the house and my appetite was coming back. By the third week we went outdoors for the first time. It was the first time away from our baby and we only managed it for 20 minutes! The doctors recommended not to take him outdoors at least until he was 4 kg and an official newborn (38 weeks), as it was winter and he couldn’t regulate his own body temperature. So from there we tried to go out everyday making each time longer until I finally recovered. (There’s still slight pain, after five months.)

Did you breastfeed? If so for how long?
Yes, we are still breastfeeding at five months. At first we breastfed and formula fed as advised by the doctor, the main reason being because of his low body weight, jaundice and the lack of ability to regulate heat. At that moment I would have done whatever to ensure his health. He is a healthy breastfed 7kg 5 month old now!

This article appeared on p. 44-45 of beijingkids July issue.
Download the digital copy here.

Photos: Courtesy of Wu Jian and Tyra Florence Johl

Zuo Yuezi Menu: Traditional Chinese Meets Western Convenience

Pennywu — Thu, 06 Jul 2017 07:00:26 +0000

According to Chinese tradition and beliefs, women need to do zuò yuèzi (sitting the month). This is when new mothers stay at home and recover from childbirth for a month. Tradition has some very strict rules on how the zuò yuèzi should be done: mothers are supposed to rest in bed, avoid water (so no showering or brushing teeth), don’t eat salt, stay away from cold wind (no AC), don’t climb stairs, and avoid heavy lifting even during breastfeeding. This traditional custom is part of the belief that only rest will help close the body after birth and make sure the woman stays healthy later in life.

Meals during this time are supposed to be “warm.” Postpartum women are advised to eat food like liver, kidneys, chicken, ginger, pumpkin, and soups with pigs’ feet and vinegar. Warming foods also include black dates, inner organs, brown sugar, and chicken eggs. Chicken is not a water-bound animal, so this especially keeps the body at the desired temperature, which is how you are supposed to stay during this first month.

I think there’s a ring of truth to this tradition; how I wish I stayed inside for the first 30 days of my daughter’s life and be taken care of. After one week I was roaming the streets of London with a newborn baby, and definitely not staying warm. This zuò yuèzi can be as strict as you would like it to be.

Creating your own version of zuò yuèzi is the modern way to go, adapting it to your lifestyle and family. The cooking part you don’t need to worry about in Beijing, as Tribe Nutrition has a service that delivers tasty meals to your doorstep for a month. Tribe and the mastermind behind this dish, Chef Zhang Ye, invited us to see how they cook one of their more popular chicken dishes featured on the zuò yuèzi menu. For more information on how to order, check out www.tribenutrition.com.

Ingredients:

5 grams starch
2-3 grams light soy sauce
15ml yellow wine
2ml olive oil
2 grams salt
1 gram white pepper powder
2 grams spring onion
5 grams starch
2-3 grams light soy sauce
15ml yellow wine
2ml olive oil
2 grams salt
1 gram white pepper powder
2 grams spring onion

Step 1 – Cut the chicken and the rest of the ingredients.

Step 2 – Mix all the ingredients together.

Step 3 – Scoop ingredients into lotus leaf.

Step 4 – Fold into lotus leaf.

Step 5 – Steam in the oven on 120 degrees Celsius for 20 min.

Step 6 – Cut open the package and check if chicken is cooked.

This article appeared on p. 24-25 of beijingkids July issue.
Download the digital copy here.

Photos: Uni You

Jazz It Up: This Mom Gets Some Pampering After Her Zuò Yuèzi

Pennywu — Wed, 05 Jul 2017 07:00:58 +0000

Jess Meider became a second-time mother last April. Baby Olivia was born at Beijing United Family Hospital, after a fast and uncomplicated birth. Meider’s firstborn is now four years old, so she’s a seasoned mother who knew what to expect this time around. When she gave birth and experienced her second postpartum period, she knew this time around she wanted to have a more traditional approach to recovery (zuò yuèzi) to make sure her body would heal correctly after pregnancy and birth. Sitting month is a traditional postpartum custom observed in China and several other Asian countries, and Meider had just finished her version of this custom through staying inside, keeping warm from head to toe, eating soups, and getting a lot of rest.

She is now ready to get a fresh pampering at Blow + Bar. Jess is not only a mother and wife but also a jazz vocalist, teacher, voice over actress, yoga teacher, and skincare entrepreneur. She is a mother of all trades and has been living in Beijing almost half her life. Singing her way to notoriety, she is no stranger to having her hair and makeup done as she takes the stage nearly every week. During her transformation, she was joined by her newborn so they could stay close during mommy’s makeover.

Step 1 – Salon manager Angie Tan talks with Jess about the style she would like and together they decide on a full head of highlights and a trim.

Step 2 – Tan starts the long process of highlighting Meider’s full head of hair.

Step 3 – Meider takes some time to relax under the drying cap.

Step 4 – While the highlights are setting, the makeup gets applied.

Step 5 – Meider wants to keep her hair long and only get the dried ends trimmed.

Step 6 – The hair gets styled and straightened, so she has a full head of sleek blond locks.

Products Used
Elizabeth Arden Eight-Hour Lip Protector Stick
Memebox Pony Eyeshadow
RMK Face Powder
Bleunuit Lip Pallet
Bleunuit Blusher
Maybeline New York Foundation
HR Lash Queen Black Mascara
DIOR Eye Shadow

Blow + Bar
Daily 11am-10.30pm. 3021, 3/F, 3.3 Shopping Mall, 33 Sanlitun Lu, Chaoyang District. 朝阳区三里屯路33号3.3大厦3层3021商铺 (5136 5432)

This article appeared on p. 16-17 of beijingkids July issue.
Download the digital copy here.

NPR: For Chinese Moms, Birth Means 30 Days In Pajamas

beijingkids — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 05:00:00 +0000

Louisa Lim describes the Chinese post-partum tradition of the "Sitting Month" (a.k.a. "zuo yue zi" 做月子) and the lucrative industry that has sprung up around it on NPR:

Imagine not being allowed to go outside, have a shower or drink cold water for an entire month. It might sound like a kind of house arrest. But every year tens of millions of Chinese women submit to this willingly. This is the traditional Chinese practice of confinement during the month after childbirth, with some modern twists.

Many Westerners would undoubtedly find the practice of confining a new mother to bed for an entire month rather extreme, if not incredibly impractical – but indeed, this tradition remains firmly entrenched in the minds of many Chinese families.

On the other hand I’ve also met a number of young Chinese mothers who are reluctant, if not downright against the practice – often to the chagrin of their own mothers (a situation that often results in heated family arguments). It seems they, too, have trouble reconciling caution and custom with a fast-paced, 21st-century urban lifestyle.

Call it a generation gap, if you will – the zuo yue zi tradition, which is steeped in the tenets of traditional Chinese medicine, evolved over the centuries when living and health conditions were very different from today and infant and maternal mortality rates were much higher. In many ways it is a holdover from the "bad-old days" before China’s post-industrial modernization (or, "kun nan ri zi" – 困难日子 – as many old-timers say) – in other words, it all made perfect sense back in the day.

Certainly much of what mothers – many of whom are only-children themselves – are expected to endure during the month (i.e. staying indoors 24/7, eating nothing but pork knuckle soup for weeks on end, not bathing, and in some cases, getting extremely short haircuts to account for not being able to wash your hair etc.) seems unnecessary, if not outright superstitious, in this day and age.

But given Beijing’s sketchy environment I wouldn’t dismiss the idea of taking it easy after having a baby wholesale. After all, for every Super-Mom out there who can brag about being up and at ’em mere days after giving birth, there are those (like my wife) who don’t exactly have iron-clad constitutions and would be better off having a rest in the cleaner confines of their homes after undergoing what often amounts to a major surgical procedure (namely, a C-section).

Perhaps what is most sensible for families with newborns is a less dogmatic approach (from either angle) – not every new mother can be expected to benefit from a month atrophying in bed, but not everyone is fit to go out rock climbing a week after giving birth either (which is what my older sister in Norway did, to mixed results).

As with most things, sensible moderation seems to be the key: If you think you can hack it, then by all means, get yourself up and running as soon you see fit; but if not, then I see nothing wrong with laying low for a few weeks at home or even paying to stay in a supervised center (but I’d suggest skipping that "no-bathing" rule).

Read Louisa Lim’s BBC article about her own zuo yue zi experience here.